Life Stinks: Liveman 28-31

Ugh. These two.

Episodes 28, 29, 30

*sighs*

Each time I rewatch Liveman, I promise myself to keep an open mind about Black Dumb and Green Dumber. But they still just suck and are such a waste of a great idea. We know they weren't planned from the beginning, but they're a great idea for what's essentially an afterthought. The siblings of Liveman's dead friends becoming new heroes -- that's an amazing idea! There are so many, many potential stories to go there, and Liveman was at a point when it needed its idea-engine goosed.

There are many factors for why the Two Newbs don't work. The biggest problem is the terrible casting, but that's not all. The writing's not there for them. The cheap make-under the show's been enduring really doesn't help, and it makes no sense to bring on two more regulars when your budget's falling. (No wonder they ended up with two shitty newb actors -- they had to be cheap!)

And Liveman aired at a time when certain risks just weren't taken -- you can imagine Takuji and Mari's siblings becoming heroes and being their own two-man team separate from Liveman, out for revenge, before the Liveman change their mind. That could have been an arc lasting several episodes. But a toku in 1988 just wasn't going to take such a severe route. They just really wanted to get to the status quo, which is bring in the new guys and their toys, make 'em five and act like that's always been the case. So many missed opportunities. (And I still blame lackluster writing on the casting. If they had good performers, maybe that would have inspired better storylines.)

When I picture in my head what Takuji and Mari's siblings as new heroes could have meant for the show, I get so mad, man. It certainly should have caused a bigger splash than it did. It's just no big deal to the characters, to the show, to the fandom. The big scene when the five transform and fight for the first time -- besides creating a meme out of Kemp's "There's five Liveman members!" line -- is handled in such an underwhelming fashion. It's like...Toei demanded the addition of two more heroes, to get to the status quo and to be able to have more merchandising. Someone -- most likely Soda -- had the brilliant idea to make the two new heroes the siblings, but they didn't think beyond that. Other than Tetsuya having a shit-fit for a minute, neither seems all that angry at Kemp here, and Kemp has zero reaction to facing the family members of people he killed. So, there's no real drama or tension there.

And to top it all off, this three-parter about the Giga Plan, which is...just Volt getting an ugly mecha. Bias watched some Bioman reruns and decided Volt needed a mecha, so he builds the Giga Volt, which was doomed from the start because it couldn't move because he gave it platform boots like some glam rock star, which ensured that Giga Volt couldn't move beyond the shitty dirt mountain where the entire three-parter was inexplicably filmed.

And what really pisses me off about this three-parter? We take an instant hatred to Tetsuya and Jun'ichi, their bad acting, their bad attitudes. When the two dumb-dumbs continue to ignore the Liveman's advice, they blow out the Live Boxer, and they need to endanger Koron in order to get it to function again. We've spent most of the show with Koron. She's a weird Moonwalking robot, but she's proven herself. She's awesome. We like her. Yuusuke just learned to like her. And she's awesome again, offering to harm herself to help these two new assholes we hate. And they're completely ungrateful, like they deserve Koron's sacrifice. There's a moment where she's exploding and crying out and Jun'ichi whines for her to keep going and it's just like...shut up, Jun'ichi. I think the wrong Aikawa died.

Look. I know I've bitched about these two a lot. And it would be one thing if they were just bland or not used to their full potential. But between the casting and the way they're written in their introductory episodes, you just immediately hate them. They're aggressively unlikable. And to top it all off, they throw off the chemistry of the main three, which was one of the show's strongest elements. (Daisuke Shima's even hinted at the main three not liking that two new cast members were brought on and screwed with their dynamic.)

Episode 31

The infamous one with pregnant Green. The one that people react to with mock outrage: "How dare a kids toy commercial preach anti-abortion!" Look, it was just a stupid episode with a gimmick that was meant to be weird. I don't think it had a "message," and I think Hirohisa Soda's smarter than to try to pass off a heavy message in such a goofy episode. Jun'ichi's the new kid and he gets his experience of learning the value of life, in this case, a kid monster's life.

I think the episode is more about a male learning how to feel maternal love, something presented as initially awkward and uncomfortable, but he gives in to his emotions and ends up feeling for Bega Baby and crying when it dies. As goofy as this episode is, I like Jun'ichi in this episode, and even think actor Jin Kawamoto gives a good performance. It's just sad that it's all done in such a goofy way and that its intentions have been misconstrued by non-Japanese viewers who are looking at it with foreign eyes, decades after the fact. I think a better approach to this episode would have been something like Flashman's 11th episode, when the monster of the week hatches and imprints on Ruu. If a monster had just hatched and thought Jun'ichi was its mother upon laying eyes on him -- taking out the absurd pregnancy stuff -- I don't think this episode would have the reputation it does.

I also just have to say quickly that I like the final fight in this episode, with Sai flying all around. It's crazy and weird.