Kamen Rider Black RX Episodes 38-39

EPISODE 38

This episode picks up the thread of the previous one, beginning with Joetarou finding and trashing Maribaron's pollution-causing machines. Crisis show their smarts once again as the first ship carrying Crisis folk is arriving and it's too late to warn them -- our baddies greet their countrymen as they die due to Earth's atmosphere. Maribaron saves her ass by suggesting building an underground home for their people until they can succeed in taking over Earth. (Guys, you've failed for 37 episodes. Move on.)

Joetarou is investigating the insta-fail Crisis UFO that was spotted when they catch sight of a bizarre dancing troupe led by a priestess who claims she can heal people -- when she does, they begin to follow her, and end up being slaves to help build Crisis' underground civilization. Say wha? What the hell sense does this make? If she can really heal people, they can make a lotta money. And yet...she's taking weak people and healing them to use for manual labor. Even if she's super powerful -- and this is Crisis we're talking about, so it's doubtful -- why take weak people that have just healed? Duh, because they're Crisis. Sorry.

Joetarou follows the priestess and her troupe into the forest where she traps them in...a pond of quicksand? Really, it's a small body of water, but Kurata and Koyama are acting like they're sinking in quicksand. They're saved by a mysterious arrow with an attached wire, Koutarou pulling himself and Joe to safety. Later they're walking when a blast of water appears from nowhere and reveals a secret passageway. Say what now? I'm fed up with this show's random shit...

Oh, wait, it's not random! It was all done by Waterstarter Kyoko Matoba -- remember her? No? Well, too bad, we're using her! She somehow has infiltrated this ridiculous little dance troupe and has been spying on Crisis. The writers have all of a sudden decided to make her an ace archer, but you don't know this when that arrow comes out of nowhere to save Joetarou. (They could have had her, I dunno, saving them by using her water powers that have been established? How about parting that quickwater Joetarou was sinking in.) So, does she at least shoot water arrows, like Shinken Blue? Nope! Of course not. She's the weird little girl who hates Crisis so much she forced herself to develop powers that can control water. But she also specializes in archery and undercover work, too. So much can happen off screen.

RX easily dismantles the plan, but Crisis once again shows that they're Mensa material -- Maribaron lets it slip to Koutarou that the higher-ups in Crisis were modified with enhanced cells in order to tolerate Earth's climate, but that every other Crisis citizen will die instantly like those schmoes in the beginning of the episode. Even the monster of the week is like "Maribaron, you're stupid!" The monster of the week! If the monster of the week is smarter than your regulars, you might be one of the worst toku shows.

And when the plan goes to crap, Dasnerder approaches Maribaron, intending to make good on his longtime threat to execute the latest failure. He never has, and he still won't, because while he draws his sword and approaches her, he's stabbed in the back -- by Jark! What a development! I'm on the edge of my seat! You mean to tell me the head villain of this group of dumb bad guys is deciding to keep his even dumber subordinate around to further come up with crap plans and blab secrets? Who'd have thought? If each Crisis member only had half a brain, they'd still only have half a brain.

Random notes:

1) We know Dasnerder's not dead because, rather than actually try to be suspenseful, they show that he opens his eyes and smiles.

2) I think they really wished they had Machiko Soga guest-starring as the priestess. It's instead actress Yuri Kimura, who's already appeared in RX! She played Yuuko's mom back in episode 8. (Remember, one of the only tolerable episodes of this show.) RX, a show that never gave a fuck, is clearly giving subzero fucks at this point. I guess they're saving all of their money for the incredibly lackluster and shitty Rider reunion. (That's sarcasm; it doesn't take money to just get the yokels from Korakuen's stage show.)

3) After Koutarou nearly sinks to death in that tiny pond, he spends the rest of the episode covered in mud. It's actually kinda funny that they go that far to keep continuity. Where's that attention to detail for the rest of the show?

4) I like the idea of the addition of Kyoko, just too bad they can't decide on how they want to depict her. Is she going to have the weird water power or be the ace archer? They brought her in so late and use her so sparingly, it was a missed opportunity to have Koutarou bond with her and have her fill the hole in his heart left by Kyoko Akizuki. (Megumi Ueno even resembles Black's Akemi Inoue a bit.)
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EPISODE 39

Takashi Yamada's one script for the series. He wrote a few good episodes of Kamen Rider Black, including Birugenia's debut episodes. I don't know why he's popping up so late into RX's run, but...

It's a strange episode he turns in. I feel like they basically had two different scripts that they hired Yamada to unite. One was a filler-y script about the monster of the week disguising itself as a remote control car and causing havoc for Shigeru, and the other was a more serious script about the bad guys trying to get those closest to Koutarou to turn on him. Oh, and maybe work in some laser tag stuff, that's what all the hip kids are into. What the F?

It's funny that the episode begins with Crisis having a rare brainstorm that, hey, it's really been unfortunate that they're all at each other's throats and maybe they should try working together to get RX. Geez, you think? Actually, it doesn't help, because Crisis doesn't have a brain between their members, so they still screw up. But it's Dasmader's umpteenth "One more failure and I'll kill you!" and Crisis' umpteenth "This time we TOTALLY have to kill RX, guys!" Pack it in, Crisis! You've lost. Go home.

All of the focus on laser tag in this episode is strange. First we have Joetarou posing for Reiko in laser tag gear at an arcade. And then that turns into a game with Shigeru and his friends. Crisis is going around town kidnapping the kids who get the most points at laser tag in order to brainwash them to kill RX, so they're given EVIL laser tag gear. When Shigeru's brainwashed, the Sahara mother is freaking out, wondering why they're always targeted, realizing that it all started when Koutarou showed up. It's shitty, but she has a point! This is part of Crisis' plan, to turn the people he loves against him, but one second after this, as Reiko and Joe worry that Koutarou might take Utako's words to heart, he's like "Nah, I know she's just worried and venting." Crisis (our writers) is so terrible that even their one halfway decent plan that shows signs of working and makes things interesting...they still screw it up! Koutarou's as tired of Crisis as I am of this show, so he doesn't give a shit anymore!

There's a scene later on when Reiko and Joe are forced into the Evil Laser Tag gear and turn on Koutarou. It's just so ridiculous. (Even more ridiculous than Koutarou tracking down Kyoko to ask her to ask the water where Shigeru and his friends have been taken. You read that right.) They shoot RX and...seeing him bleed snaps them out of their spell and what? *sigh*

Random notes:

1) The action kicks off by Shigeru and his friends losing a remote control car race, with some weird old dude (Gatezone disguised) offering them a super car. I only point this out because it's stupid, but also to note that Shigeru's remote control car looks like Rideron. It's probably the one you could actually buy from Bandai, but my point is Rideron is ugly and lame and no kid's gonna think that's a cool remote control car to have. Herbie the Love Bug's more bad-ass.

2) We get no resolution about Utako Sahara's turning on Koutarou. Yeah, we know he knows she's just stressed, but a better show would have featured a denouement where she apologizes and he lets her know it's cool. Yet another thing the show's careless about. They really just don't make an effort in getting you to like the Saharas, and it's going to be crucial in a few more episodes why they should have made that effort.