Kamen Rider Black RX Episodes 46-47

EPISODE 46

In what the show thinks is a surprise, Jark decides to be the next to go after RX. He, Dasnerder and Maribaron land the Crisis ship in a split mountain and go to the area where the Zyuranger had to win their weapons and meet...a shadowy floating head, the Crisis Emperor. The Emperor grabs Jark with some tendrils and squeezes the bejesus out of him. (He's really upgrading him into an ugly super-duper form that, for some reason, gets the new name of Jarkmidora.) Takahata's performance as Maribaron's good here, in which she's really just outraged and upset that it looks like Jark's in pain, and that Dasmader won't do anything to do help. (Takahata's so wasted in this show.)

The Saharas and other families are seen driving away from the cities, their vehicles are all driving through the Toku Mountainside. So many toku battles have taken place there. It's a dangerous spot, so you know something bad will happen. Don't take a shortcut through Mt. Toku and expect to be safe!

The cars are all attacked by Jarkmidora, and the people panic. This sequence is pretty good, actually, and one of the only times I've noted the direction in this show, one of the only times it's really had flair or style. The final three episodes are directed by Masao Minowa, who directed the stylish and atmospheric final episodes of Black. He's not working with as strong of material in this show, but this sequence is probably one of the show's few emotional and heavy sequences. The scene is directed with a shaky cam frenzy as Jarkmidora rips his way through fleeing citizens, making his way to the Saharas...

The Sahara parents tell Shigeru and Hitomi to run, which they do. Jark's after them because he wants hostages, but the parents cling to Jark's legs to prevent him for chasing their kids and he just reaches down and strikes them. We don't see what he does, but the way it's directed -- with the POV shot from the Saharas, looking up at an imposing Jark -- to the way the Jark suit actor plays it (I'm not sure if it's still Takahashi in this super form), and the way it cuts away to the kids to get their reaction as they hear their parents' last breath...it's done well. It's a shame that the show began with the Sahara parents being so obnoxious, and it's a shame that the show never knew what to do with them, so they were used poorly and in the wrong way, so it's a testament to Minowa that this sequence is effective in any way whatsoever. And Inoue and Imura are good kid performers, as I've said, so they do a good job. (Imura is so young that it seems like she believes what's happening in the show is really happening. So she legitimately looks scared and sad.)

Besides the show not developing the Sahara parents in a good enough way to make this be the dramatic shock it wishes it was, there's two more problems with this:

In another show, I would probably commend them for doing something like killing the Sahara parents. It's senseless, it's for shock value, but it's a gut punch. It's dark. You don't see it coming. But it's the wrong move for a show with RX's tone. And it's the wrong move in a show like RX, which doesn't really care about characters or consequences, but I'll talk a little more about that in the finale.

The other problem is that the Sahara parents sacrifice themselves so that their kids can escape. But the kids don't! They freeze and turn around in terror and Jark actually catches up to them and it's Amazon (and some other old Riders) that arrives in the nick of time to save them! So the Saharas basically died for nothing. And that IS in keeping with RX's tone, because RX wouldn't be RX without characters bein' stupid!

This show's always been bad about letting things sink in for characters, and while it tries in the aftermath of the Sahara Killing, it's still not given enough time, and is handled a bit over-the-top. The Riders bring Shigeru and Hitomi to Koutarou and the RX Squad's hangout where they tell everyone what happened to their parents, and nobody's really shocked. Koutarou reacts the same way he reacts to anything Crisis does. I mean, he pretty much has a line in an episode where he says "How dare you tarnish how special remote control cars are for boys! YURUSAN!" So, when he hears of the Saharas -- the people who kindly took him in, gave him work, gave him a surrogate family -- and he faces Jark saying "How dare you do that to Mr. and Mrs. Sahara...YURUSAN!" it's just like...Jesus, writers. For something like this, don't do the cliched hero speech. Despite what the internet thinks, this isn't unique to Koutarou Minami -- far from it. Pretty much every single episode of every toku, the final line by the hero before they henshin to beat the latest monster and stop the latest scheme is "Something something something, yurusan!"

We do get a kind of cool fight between RX and Jark that's unfortunately ruined by RX using his ugly alternate forms a little too much. When he's Robo Rider, he loses his gun, which Shigeru and Hitomi grab in order to exact their revenge on Jark. And they do get a shot off! (Jark just walks it off.) OK. I guess this is meant to be touching, but it just plays goofy. (I'd have it that they just toss it back to RX, and the next blast he does DOES get in some damage. This could be where Jark's eye gets damaged, so it's symbolically a wound given by the Sahara kids, but...remember the show we're dealing with.)

And although this battle is supposed to be personal, therefore it's only RX fighting Jark, it highlights just how useless the 10 Riders are by having them just running to each location to watch the battle! They do this a lot in these episodes -- just sit back and enjoy watching RX do all of the work. Why are they still here? Isn't there some form of Shocker off in Chattanooga for them to go battle? *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Random notes:

1) I just learned that it was reported by the Director's Guild of Japan late last year that Masao Minowa passed away at an unknown date. That's sad, especially since I kept acknowledging how much I liked Minowa's style during my Turboranger coverage just last year.

2) It's a nice, rare character moment when Kyoko approaches Shigeru and Hitomi and tells them that she's the same as they are -- orphaned by Crisis -- and offers words of support.

3) Two words I keep coming back to throughout this rewatch are "random" and "inexplicable." For example, in this episode and the previous one, Jark is inexplicably voiced by Hidekatsu Shibata rather than Seizou Katou as usual. To be honest, I never really liked Katou as Jark. He has a very odd and distinct voice. I will always associate his voice with Sei-ou Bazuu, a freakish character who benefited from Katou's unique voice. His voice doesn't work coming out of the gaudily designed Jark. I think there's also something about knowing Toshimichi Takahashi is the man behind the mask, and thinking that Katou's voice doesn't go with that face, either. I like Shibata, as well. (He's the voice of General Shadow, my favorite Rider villain.) And Shibata's gruff, no-time-for-BS voice just fits better. I don't know the reason why they replace Katou with Shibata in the character's final episodes, but it's a shame it wasn't Shibata the entire time.

4) I'm not for sugarcoating entertainment, but I think that at least Utako should have survived. Have Joe and Reiko survey the scene after hearing Shigeru and Hitomi's story and find a still living Utako, and they send her to a hospital in time.

5) Again, Takahata has a nice reaction when she realizes Jark's dead. RX likes to waste its women performers, I guess is the one cohesive thing about it... other than its awfulness. Hey-oooooooooooo.

6) In my coverage of Black, I noted that it was unfortunate that the show ran out of money and wasn't able to fully convey the destruction Golgom was supposed to cause in the final episodes. But at least Black made the attempt. RX relies heavily on stock shots of buildings exploding or people fleeing, and the rest of the action is in such isolated locations, focusing on our core group of characters, that it really doesn't read like Crisis is launching a successful all-out assault.
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EPISODE 47

The finally! (I stole that joke from The Soup. It's a genius way of describing the end to a show you don't like or enjoy.) And this one's a scattered mess that doesn't remember its own storyline from early on. If the show had ended with Jark being killed out of revenge for killing the Saharas and Crisis just finally pissing off, it probably would have been a better end. Because...there's just a lot of stupid in this one, and there's not even a cool climactic final battle to fall back on. It's stupid and lackluster, and one of the weaker toku finales I can think of.

Crisis, I've beaten the horse enough, are idiots. Considering the Emperor is a giant head, not even he has any smarts in that massive dome. His plan in this episode is to send Maribaron to cordially invite Koutarou to a one-on-one meeting with him. And Koutarou accepts! See, turning into Robo Rider and Goo Rider has done something to his brain! So he goes along with Maribaron to meet the Head of the Family in that area where the Zyuranger earn their weapons. The RX Squad -- now including the gratuitous Goro and Shigeru and Hitomi -- and the 10 Riders have the smarts to follow.

It's all fun and games making fun of this sloppy finale, but I guess the truth is you don't know if the Crisis Emperor is genuine or not. He commends Koutarou for being a formidable opponent and offers him a title and the chance to rule Earth as part of Crisis. They could have done some contrasting with the whole Century King thing -- what if Koutarou would have contemplated this offer, that he could be "in charge" of Earth as a Crisis member, but still be looking out for Earth? Sabotage Crisis from within? We don't get anything like that. There's the offer -- again, whether it's genuine or BS, who knows -- Maribaron is outraged and bitches out the Emperor for being a dumbass, he smites her, and then Koutarou refuses. As soon as he refuses, Dasmader appears and the whole underground thing caves in and Dasmader's soon aboard the Crisis ship and laughing at victory... It's one of the many quick, confusing edits in this episode.

Before I get to that, I want to address Maribaron. Again, Takahata's giving a performance the show doesn't deserve. But once the Emperor turns on her, I love that there's a moment where she looks like she's ready to attack HIM before she turns around and attempts to attack Koutarou one last time. Your plans weren't always sound Maribaron, but thanks to the skills of your actress, you end the show on a better note than you deserved.

We just jump into the final battle here. It's the Crisis ship, RX appears. I do think it's a little funny that RX announces that he's on the Crisis ship by destroying the obnoxious little robot, Chakram, and letting its body fall near Dasmader. The show doesn't even attempt to explain how RX got out of the jam of that cave collapsing in on him and his buddies, and we don't know how all of his buddies got out of it in time, either. There's no time, it's the finale! Also: RX isn't interested in that...

RX is more interested in retconning some of their already feeble backstory for the sake of inserting a snoozy and predictable green message. Here, Dasmader -- a rather chatty bastard all of a sudden -- reveals to RX that Crisisville -- the Kai-Makai -- is actually a twin of Earth, and that it operated parallel to Earth, and what caused its unstable environment and destruction is pollution caused by people on Earth.

Bull...SHIT! First of all, Dr. Waldo told us way back in -- what, episode three? -- that it was the Crisis Empire that ruined their world. I *think* the show still tries to address this, having RX be like "Didn't the Crisis Emperor ruin your world," but Dasmader dismisses him and pushes on with his side of the story. (And since Koutarou ends the series by preaching to every member of the RX Squad, this is obviously the true scenario that writer Ezure wants to go with.) Secondly, what the hell have I been watching for the past dozen episodes if not Crisis trying to pollute the Earth in order to make it habitable for their people? If the goal is to go to Earth because their world is ruined, then...it don't make no sense! They were polluting Earth so their people would be more at home! So, GTFOuttahere with your preachy, lame, unnecessary, retconning, Captain Planet bullshit, show.

The scene also plays a little like Dasmader basically trying to appeal to Koutarou by telling him the population count and saying that all of his people need a new place to live, and the scene ends with Koutarou killing him and causing the complete destruction of Kai-Makai, so...our hero, folks. All of the weird, but good little gnomes he's met on Kai-Makai throughout the show, like Waldo, or the ones who helped Hitomi, Joe's resistance buddies, and all of his promises to go back and save them and their world -- LIES.

This whole final battle BAMFs all over the place -- it begins in the tiny Crisis ship's main battle room, it continues into the Space Sheriff Black Soundstage With Dry Ice, it ends at, of course, the quarry. The thing is...once on the ship, Dasmader takes the ship through a portal to show Koutarou Crisisville. With all of this confusing editing, it's not even clear if Koutarou has returned to Earth before he kills Dasmader! He could have been trapped in another dimension for all he knew, and that would have certainly been a weird and bleak way to end the show, but...I guess once he and the Giant Emperor Head make it to the quarry, they're on Earth? Again -- who knows, since that's the site of Makuu/Mado/Fuuma Space. (Dasmader ended up being a guise of the Great Emperor, by the way. That's how unimpressive he is, and how lamely this thing's resolved.) Speaking of Makuu Space -- when the Emperor's defeat causes massive explosions, there's a stock shot of Makuu Space exploding...! See? What have I always said -- this show is an Uchuu Rider.

The Emperor's dying words, by the way, are that if the people of Earth continue to pollute, they're just going to end up creating another Kai-Makai (this time, it would be Earth itself), and Koutarou clings to that to make some speeches later on. Lame, writers.

But I guess Koutarou does make it back to Earth A-OK, because we get a pathetic send-off for all of these characters. First, he approaches the useless 10 Riders, who predictably vow to keep roaming the Earth looking for old villains to fight (*yawn, write something new for old Riders to do, Toei*), while Koutarou's like "Thanks for nothing, guys!"

Which brings us to some of the biggest bullshit in this episode, which is saying something, because this episode is some big bullshit. Koutarou and the RX Squad are on a cliff, with a grave marker for the Sahara parents. Koutarou says final words to the two, who maybe had the better deal in these terrible final episodes, and everyone prays. And Koutarou gets up and says farewell to everybody! Shigeru and Hitomi are going to live with Kyoko (a sad life that Kyoko's going to have), while Joe's going to travel and try to find out about his past; Reiko will resume being a photographer and Goro -- WHY IS HE HERE?!?! -- says he wants to keep on cookin'. Koutarou, meanwhile, is "going off to train" and "should be back one day." What the fuck is that shit? (I'm so damn surprised that Joe's not traveling with Koutarou, since the show basically wished he was as cool and heroic as Koutarou. Sorry, Joetarou fans.)

This is one of those vague '70s endings that's meant to make our hero look more heroic and selfless, dedicating his life to traveling and fighting bad guys, but to me is just a totally unfulfilling resolution and place to leave the character(s) you've spent an entire show with.

Again, Koutarou's battle with Golgom was personal. It took a big toll on him. He managed to carve out some happiness in RX, but more evil shitheads targeted him and pulled him into their bullshit. He rose to the challenge. Doesn't our hero deserve rest? Peace, finally? The Sahara family, who took him in, what should be a symbol of his happiness, the parents are cut down. I think it's pretty cold to leave Shigeru and Hitomi behind to ride off just because that's the way the '70s Riders did it.

Here was the time for RX to get serious. There could have been a flashforward where Koutarou, now married to Reiko, is raising Shigeru and Hitomi. Maybe Kyoko stops by now and then. Have Koutarou find some peace and the family he's been missing. And had Toei known this was going to be the end of the franchise for a while, maybe they'd have done something like that. (I doubt it, though.) But they need to keep the idea that Koutarou's around out there, fighting as RX, just in case a future show needs a disappointing crossover! (You might not have to worry about that, Toei.)

Because...Koutarou just abandons the Sahara kids! He leaves Reiko! He lets a teen girl raise two kids! Isn't it bad enough that the show accidentally makes him look bad for letting Kai-Makai explode after told its population and origin, but they have him look like an absolute coldhearted ass towards his girlfriend, friends and family, too? And I'm sure there's some nutters who are out there like "OMG, that makes RX such a dark show," when, no, it makes it what it always was -- a poorly written, not-thought-out mess.

To be serious, although it really plays like Koutarou just doesn't care about the destruction of (what's most likely a lot of innocent) civilians on Kai-Makai, I don't think that's the intention. Kai-Makai was already said to be in the process of dying off, I think its life was meant to be tied to Dasmader/the Emperor in a way, and that ultimately you're meant to feel like Crisis/Kai-Makai was its own undoing. But that doesn't excuse Koutarou's big mistake to just abandon all of his loved ones. It's just such a bad move, on the part of the character AND the writers. Think of the Black finale, how somber and quiet it was, how it ended on Koutarou's lamenting that he lost everyone. THAT Koutarou, the real Koutarou, would not just abandon everyone, giving them the lonely existence Golgom forced on him.

Call me crazy, but I'd love to write a reunion movie. I was once against it, but I think you could build a bridge between Black and RX. I think you could do something that brings Koutarou back together with Shigeru, Hitomi, Reiko, Kyoko, Joe, and bring back Kyoko and Katsumi from Black, too. I think you could really address the trauma all of these characters endured, and how they all might feel slighted by Koutarou and resent him some, when his behavior is possibly a result of his own trauma. Because it's NOT heroic to have him just ride off, and it's a pitiful way to end a character who was as popular as Koutarou Minami. Tetsuo Kurata's owed an apology in the form of some new movie or special, man.

So, to sum it up -- these final episodes make the villains look even stupider than normal, they make the '70s Riders lame and useless and they make our hero, the cool Koutarou Minami, seem like an irresponsible ASSHOLE. Piss off, RX.
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FINAL THOUGHTS?

There have been so many bad, terrible, torturous toku shows in the past several years that I thought RX would seem like an improvement in comparison. But, no, it remains just a really difficult watch, an unwatchable mess, a total heap of suck. As a follow-up to Black, it's a massive failure. As just a loose sequel, it's a failure. Even viewed on its own, it's just a completely pointless, aimless waste of time. The first cours is absolutely terrible, and makes a good case for why maybe some tokus should be canceled, the way American shows are. Then it got to this pretty generic point where it seemed like, OK, maybe I could handle the show. But that didn't last long! I was soon just dreading watching the show.

While I might have come around to liking certain characters more than I used to -- like Joe or Bossgun -- there's not really an episode of this show I would consider truly GOOD. Subpar's really the best description, while "weak," "forgettable," and "awful" would be most other rankings. That's not an exaggeration, that's not me being hyperbolic for the sake of comedy. There's just not an episode of this show that sticks out. I can think of episodes of Fiveman that I'd call "good" or "memorable" for cryin' out loud. FIVEMAN! That's nuts!

It's clear to me that nobody working on RX had any love for it. They didn't believe in it, they didn't have a vision. Everybody was cynical, everybody was on autopilot, they thought the brand and Koutarou Minami was enough to print money. It was completely tone-deaf as to what people wanted from Kamen Rider, and it immediately undid any of the progress and goodwill Black reclaimed for the franchise. It was a cowardly production that, according to Heisei series producer Shin'ichiro Shirakura, caved to the demands of sponsors and the network. IT DIDN'T NEED TO TURN OUT THIS WAY.

Kamen Rider Black's a cool show. It was meant to be a cool, hip, reinvigoration of the franchise. Its reach exceeded its grasp, but it TRIED. RX doesn't try. At all. Black was a cool, not-your-dad's-Kamen-Rider series, and RX pulls it back into formulaic, kid-friendly Dorksville. Sad thing is...

With more effort, this show could have worked a little more. It wouldn't have been GOOD, necessarily, but maybe more tolerable than the show we ended up with. It would be disappointing how different it was compared to Black, but if they had cared enough, they could have made some of those changes work, i.e. that this is a Koutarou who found some peace before the latest battle, so he can be jokey and pal around with goofy supporting characters. You could still have a lighter tone of show, since that's what it seemed like Toei was after it the late '80s, and it could have still felt connected to Black, if attention to detail was given. But nobody on this show cared. To say it's by-the-numbers is too complimentary. There are so many episodes where I'd have the thought "there's just no love or care put into this show." Nobody believed in it.

It's similar to what happens to the Heisei Rider shows. I feel like Kuuga and Agito were sort of the Blacks, where they raised the bar and updated the franchise. But greed set in and Toei blew all of that goodwill with Ryuki, and that blew a hole in the franchise that can still be felt. (If only they had the sense to take another break after Ryuki, we might have been spared some terrible shows and the terrible state they're currently in.)

RX doesn't have its own identity. It's wildly inconsistent and it's not cohesive, it's just a dumping ground for the most generic and run-of-the-mill toku plots you can find, while Toei searches for anything that sticks, praying you still want to buy the sucky toys. They didn't know what to do with it, where they were going. It's aimless. It's baffling how the show could have so many staff members -- producers, directors -- who worked on Black, but was really off-base and missed the point on why Black was a success and what people wanted from the franchise by that point. The show plays like it's the first toku ever adapted for American audiences -- you know how the staff of MMPR got Super Sentai and just didn't understand it, so they turned in hollow, plotless nonsense, thinking that kids wouldn't care, and just having the creative Japanese footage do the lifting and bail them out? That's RX. A show made by people who don't know what they're doing, don't know what they've got, and just don't care. (Even Tetsuo Kurata's performance is spotty. Remember, I always was impressed with him in Black, especially for being an acting novice. There's only ONE episode of Black I feel like he phoned in, but there's many more in RX. I chalk some of that up to him having to be exhausted playing the lead twice in a row, but I think a lot of it is also having such weak material.)

It's just a terrible, terrible show. There are so many times throughout this rewatch where I just wanted to quit it, mid-episode, or I'd get in a bad, bad mood after watching it. (One of the only other tokus I can think of where I have that reaction is Timeranger.) It wasn't fun or enjoyable to watch. And guess what? I honestly started this rewatch hoping to be more open to the show, a little more forgiving, to try to find some silver lining in it, but the show makes it impossible. WHY, why is it so bad? I'd really love to sit down with the show's staff and pick their brain.

KOOKY THEORY CORNER

Ryouhei Kobayashi as Jou Kasumino/Kamen Rider RX?

I don't think it takes Sherlock Holmes to look at this show -- its approach, its tone, its style, its design -- and realize that it most likely began life as its own, separate thing. I've always strongly believed that the show entered production as its own thing, and that after the monster success of Black, some madman at Toei decided that it would be good business to keep the star of that show, so Tetsuo Kurata and Koutarou Minami were scribbled into the production late in development.

And now it's commonly known that Ryouhei Kobayashi -- of Fiveman fame -- was actually hired by Toei to be (the vaguely phrased) "Kamen Rider after [Kurata/Black/Koutarou]." The story goes that he was definitely cast, and Toei liked him, but things fell through and so they gave him a role in another show as a way to apologize to him and hang on to him. It's widely believed that this was originally to be the show after RX, and that the role of Fumiya/Five Black is the role that they gave him to make it up to him.

Black and RX producer Susumu Yoshikawa supposedly was pretty bitter that there were Kamen Rider parodies popping up, thinking the franchise lost its power, and that's the reason he claims Rider shows -- including this follow-up with Kobayashi as a lead -- were scrapped. If nobody took Rider seriously, anymore, then what's the point, I guess was the thinking. (I think that's a BS excuse. This is the guy who blamed video games for the decline of the crusty Space Sheriff-styled shows. It's obvious that he knew, deep down, that RX was a pile of junk, and that it was a franchise killer more than some parody.)

The timeline of Kobayashi as a Rider in a proposed third show after RX never made sense to me. RX ran from October of '88 to September of '89. Filming wrapped in the mid-summer of that year, and that's probably around the time they were starting to cast Fiveman. Toei obviously knew they weren't following up RX by then, that the franchise was going bye-bye. So how exactly was Kobayashi cast in this third show, but given the Fiveman role as a sorry, when they had to have known well beforehand that they weren't even doing a third show? (And if you cast the dude as a lead in his own show, wouldn't you give him the lead in the apology? Why wasn't Kobayashi Five Red?)

So, my theory's always been that Kobayashi was actually cast as whoever would have been Kamen Rider RX. This would have been probably summer of '88. But Toei decided to keep Kurata, morph it into a kinda-sequel, and so the role they gave Kobayashi -- to hang on to him, to make it up to him eventually -- was his role in Jiban. He joined that show in episode 20, which aired in June of '89, which means it was probably filmed in early spring. To me, that's closer to the timetable of his possibly being cast as a Rider, but having it fall through. A third show which followed RX just doesn't really line-up with Fiveman getting underway. (You can find a picture out there from Rikiya Koyama of a cast and crew photo from the day RX wrapped, which is dated August of '89 -- again, Fiveman would probably be entering production stages. They had to have known damn well there wasn't going to be a new show by then, let alone have already cast Kobayashi as the new Rider. And let me add: man, August was a pretty damn later-than-usual wrap date. A month before airing! They're usually finishing ADR by that point, not filming.)

And while Kobayashi acknowledges that he was cast as a Rider who never was, it's always been looked down on, even uncouth, for performers to talk about roles they were offered/given/were meant to play, out of respect for the person who ended up in the role. So Kobayashi's probably not really going to admit "Yeah, that was supposed to be me, but they kept Kurata around!" (So, know that when an actor says they were meant to play a specific part that they're committing a no-no and are kinda assholey.)

So, think of those early episodes. Think of Kobayashi as a young, goofy new character. Think of the tone of those early RX episodes. It's easier to imagine a goofy, new character, isn't it? And after this rewatch, I have to wonder if the original character would basically have Kasumi no Joe's backstory -- someone from Earth who was kidnapped by Crisis, who escaped their cyborg surgery, only to hand themselves over to them and go through with it in order to spare loved ones. That's a backstory for a main character, not the comedic sidekick.

But greed wins. They got Kurata back, they rode on the coattails of Black. I think the only reason we're still talking about RX is because of that. Because it certainly isn't strong enough to stand on its own.

Tetsuo Kurata deserved better. The cast deserved better. The viewers deserved better. Someone loves you, RX -- but it ain't me.