Shougo VS Lupinranger VS Patranger

It took me a while, but I've finally finished Lupinranger VS Patranger. (I really need to try to stay on top of Ryusoulger so it doesn't pile up, but that show ain't making it easy. #RYUSOULBORING!) I figured I'd round up some thoughts on the show and where I'd rank it on my list of Super Sentai.

I got some blowback when I said this before, but I'll say it again -- knowing that writer Junko Komura is a big Liveman fan, I feel like this show might have originated or been pitched as "What if the villains for the new Sentai were another Sentai?" So they then thought of ways to go about that, what themes would match, and it eventually got reduced to cops and robbers. Which COULD have worked, but...

The show we got never intended for the Lupinranger to be all that bad. In fact, the show favors the Lupinranger, those characters and their stories, far more than it does the Patranger. With producer Takaaki Utsunomiya, I feel like he was just basically wanting them to be like Gokaiger -- sorta scoundrels, but actually decent. So the show gets in the way of its own premise. It's a good team versus a good team and the way they sustain the premise is to make the thieves just minor nuisances to the cops, who always let them off the hook. In the end, the show makes the cops ineffectual and unable to do their job in order to let our real heroes keep doin' what they do.

Treasure collecting is never an interesting series-long premise, in my opinion. And it's an idea that's just very anime to me, one of those things that *might* work long term in a comic or cartoon, but is just not sustainable or believable in live action. The only time a toku's done the idea in a way I've liked is Sekai Ninja Sen Jiraiya, and that's because there were MANY people after the treasure, but the show also had many breaks from that plot. Here, it's just kinda dumb -- the Lupin want it, the police don't, so...what's the problem? Our "bad" Sentai is not only actually good, but their goal in no way hinders the police. They could easily work this shit out -- "Hey, cops! Don't destroy the treasure." "OK, 'thieves.' We don't want it, anyway, and it will be so much easier to deal with this monster that it's our job to deal with if you're not interfering and tryin' to get to the item we have no interest in." It's just not a good premise, and not done well.

I like the Lupinranger cast. Touma/Blue is my favorite, because I like the no-nonsense characters, and I think his backstory and motivation was given more detail and treated more seriously. I like Kairi, which is surprising since his actor is so damn young (and he often just looks disgusted in scenes, a big fan of nostril acting); they reallllly needed to film more with him and his brother, though. It could have been a really strong story, but they mostly only show that one damn clip of his brother chasing him down an alley with Kairi being a dick. I really liked the idea of Kairi being so torn up that he was so cruel to his brother, especially in his last moments, and they really needed to be unafraid to go into that some more, and get more specific about what his problem was. (It's obvious they were too afraid of making him too unlikable.) They make Umika a little too ditzy, but she's comedic relief, she's likable. The actress looks like she's having fun and is enthusiastic, and she's a Sentai fan, who had long wanted to be in a Sentai show, so that's cool. They never do a whole hell of a lot with her, though.

It's sad that...toku shows are kinda like procedurals, so a cop toku show should work out very well, but there's yet to be a perfect cop Sentai, IMO. (No, it wasn't Dekaranger, which was too doofy. It's like the Police Academy of toku cops. And the Uchuu Keiji don't scratch the itch, either, because they're cops in name only. Closest is probably Kuuga, and that's because it IS just a regular cop show!) And it's certainly not the Pat side of this show, since...the show doesn't really care about them, so they're treated mostly as useless, as nincompoops. The uncool obstacles for our, like, so totally much cooler stars, Jurer Sentai Lupinranger!

Keiichiro is just...bad. I dislike him, A LOT. I really don't understand why people name this character or actor as a favorite. He's so unconvincing. He's meant to be dedicated to his job, passionate, caring. He's a guy who can't live without the rule book. But the actor just goes TOO far, WAY overboard, seeming like he has severe mental disorders. He never seems caring; whenever he gives a supposedly impassioned speech about protecting the citizens or upholding justice, it's very forced and very insincere. The way actor Kousei Yuuki tries to convey being serious about his job is to just plaster on this bogus slack-jawed "serious" face and yell everything. I think he DOES show signs that he has it in him to do a better job, but...it's just a bad performance. And I can't tell if his instincts are wrong, whether he doesn't give a shit, or if he's getting some bad direction. One thing that doesn't help is that, when the show was starting, I think far too much was made of him looking like that overacting doofus from Drive to where it affected the way he played Keiichiro, and the way Keiichiro was depicted. And so the show DOES try to start writing that Keiichiro's awkward and goes overboard, but it still doesn't work, because the show tries to have it both ways -- they want him to be an over-the-top cartoon, but they want him to be serious and believable as a stand-up cop and hero and neither works -- neither in the writing nor acting. He just sucks.

Keiichiro's practically the second Akaza Banban. Banban, who was meant to be the nutty loose cannon who wiped his ass with the rule book. Banban, though, is kind of an idiot, and since Ryuji Sainei can't pull the character off, he ends up making Banban a psychopath. Keiichiro is the exact opposite of Banban -- he follows the rules, he respects law and order. He's passionate and is supposed to be an intuitive, intelligent police officer. And yet the actor goes too far and makes Keiichiro seem like a psychopath. Two completely different characters when, filtered through weak performances, meet the same result. *shrugs*

Episode 30 showed what a cool character Keiichiro could have been. I don't know why, but he's really restrained in that episode. Undercover, in another city, making a trade with some shady assholes who have a VS Vehicle. Kairi's on his ass to spy on him, and while he's focused on getting the job done, he takes a side trip to help a lost girl.

When he gets her to a police box, she's still upset -- she only got separated from her parents because she was trying to find her lost barrette. Keiichiro takes extra time to go all over the city looking for the girl's barrette. (Kairi takes the easy way and just goes and buys another one, before Keiichiro returns with the girl's actual missing one.) And it's like...Keiichiro just comes across as a nice guy in this episode, just really wanting to do the right thing and make people happy. He even tries to console Kairi when he's beating himself up for how he treated his brother.

Later when he's making the trade and is betrayed by the criminals he's dealing with, he just calmly kicks all of their asses, because he knew it would happen! If Keiichiro could have always just been restrained and coolheaded like this, I'd probably like him. He'd probably be one of the better Reds of recent years. But, for as unusual as this episode was in showing a calm, yet still fiery Keiichiro, they go and undo it by having him revert to the screaming jackass once Thief!Kairi shows up. And he's good in his moment with Kairi in episode 49, so...I don't know what the hell they were trying to accomplish with this character. But it just didn't work, and so he ended up as one of my least favorite Reds.

Sakuya is useless, and a fucking dolt, and the actor acts like he was just some schmoe they yanked off the street the day of filming because the actor they DID cast just bailed at the last minute...and the first fourteen runner-ups also turned them down. He's so one-note and cringe-inducing, always just yelling everything and making that same pained face, with one eye bugging out while the other squints. He not only yells everything, but he yells it in a monotone -- whether he's happy, sad, pissed, it's all the same.

I think you're meant to feel bad for how much the character gets mistreated, and the way everyone thinks he's a clumsy idiot, but I don't, 'cuz he sucks, and he IS an idiot. He's supposed to be the heart of the team, the one who's led by his heart whereas Keiichiro's led by the rule book and Tsukasa by logic, but Sakuya's always depicted too stupidly and he hardly even matters in the show. There's that episode where a monster supposedly causes Sakuya to keep making mistakes, but it's practically forgotten about, because that's just always how Sakuya is. He also always reacts to situations by whining and seeming cowardly. He's never good at the job, how'd he get hired? I guess his daddy must be the police commissioner. And what's the deal with the #2 suit's shade of green, the Mylanta color?

I really like Tsukasa, though -- she's the only character I like on the Pat side of things, and my favorite character of the show, and probably my favorite heroine since Matsuri/Go Pink. She's the serious one, the only one with smarts, the only one who seems competent and kick ass. And Okuyama's the only one of the three who even tries to act. Why in the fuck is she #3? She should be Red! And I kind of wonder if she was meant to be -- I can picture Komura and Utsunomiya building the show, knowing the Lupinranger are the real stars and that the Patranger are basically supporting cast. Therefore, maybe they could finally slip in a full-time female Red? Except, no, they're shot down by higher-ups, probably Bandai, who probably whine that, even if the Patranger are the secondary team, they have to pretend like the cops are the "stars," and therefore don't want to lose sales in merchandise based on the "star" hero, the cop, the Red. Their mistake.

I once joked, and still think, that Tsukasa should have quit the force and joined the Lupinranger, with Umika quitting the Lupinranger and joining the cops -- then it'd all match up. I think it's a big, big mistake to make the cop side look so bad, to make them the goofballs. If their intention was to make them seem more like underdogs, they failed big time. Other than Tsukasa, they just seem so stupid and incompetent.

Tsukasa's a one-woman Sentai. I love that episode where Keiichiro and Sakuya are off on their own to defuse a bomb and Tsukasa just explodes into a fight with the Gangler AND the Lupinranger on her own. And she kicks so much ass in that episode where she and Touma are in the Gangler dimension. If I were in charge of things, I would have kept Okuyama around and spun off Tsukasa into her own show -- she joins the universal police and becomes the new Space Sheriff. (I should also mention that I really took notice of Patran #3 suit-actress Ryoko Gomi -- she showed a swift fierceness in this role that she hasn't in any other, and really kicked ass.)

Noel's so nonsensical he should be in a Heisei Kamen Rider show. OK, that's an exaggeration. He makes more sense than that Diend turd. But the whole idea of Patren/Lupin X is a wasted opportunity. Instead of trying to write a character who's doing some subterfuge or obfuscation, a character who could add conflict to both sides, who's really steps ahead and doing a balancing act, let's just be lazy and have the character admit up front that he's working for both sides and they just accept that. And I don't care how mean it sounds, but I hate this guy's voice. He sounds like a Muppet. (Noel's basically just a human version of Good Striker. Bounces back and forth between the teams, has an annoying voice. Speaking of Good Striker -- what the hell's the point of that talking carrot, man? Why's it take half the series to even try to address who he is, where he came from? He never fit in the show, either. It's too ToQ.) While I ended up actually liking Noel -- and didn't predict his backstory -- I didn't think his motivation was that great. The way the show depicted Arsene Lupin was just too goofy to try to make him a big part of the dramatic background and motivation for one of our main heroes. Really, the way they make Lupin look is exactly like one of Masao's goofy disguises in Battle Fever.

The mecha...I won't say much about, since I'm not a mecha fan, but they are ffffffffffUGLY! The show dwells on the mecha far too much, the scenes just cluttered and practically unwatchable. (And unlistenable. Just loud and busy these scenes are.) The mecha designs remind me of Boukenger's, just big, ugly, indecipherable messes of metallic junk, you can't really tell what part's being swapped for what because it's all an eyesore and the eye sees these designs and scenes overstuffed with crap CGI and just decides to give your brain the finger. And that just pisses the brain off, because they're already in a fight with your ears, which are just like "Shut this show up! Why's it so loud!? Jesus, God, why do the Japanese have to make their superhero shows so loud?! This isn't a way for anyone to start a Sunday morning."

The villains are just uninteresting, and often feel like a part of another show. Terrible designs (seriously, why do they keep getting Masato Hisa to design these ugly, overly colored blobs), the same personality Toei's been giving bad guys for about a decade now (bored boss, gruff guy who speaks in monotone, sexy voiced monster-enlarging woman) and they lack motivation. (The head bad guy's reason for killing Lupin and taking the treasure pieces? Because he could, so why not? Ugh.) Take the unimpressiveness of the Zangyaku and the boringness of the Deathgaliens, and slap them in the ugliness of the Jark Matter and you have these goons. Zamigo could have been cool -- awful Mr. Freeze-like pun not intended -- but he instead is like one of the lesser koooooooky and quirrrrrrky Grongi, with the acting chops to match. And it doesn't help that the writers choose to use him by consulting a magic eight-ball. The monsters of the week are all interchangeable goofballs. The designs for all of these guys are bad enough, but the huge safes on them are just a...bad, bad look. What are the designers thinking?

So, it's like...the show's main story, as they choose to tell it in this series, isn't enough to cover 50+ episodes, so the show's just kind of stuck in stasis -- everybody's back where they started by the episode's end, it goes around in circles, and that gets kinda old. And when the show goes for an all -out comedy episode, it's unbearably bad -- usually the show at its worst -- so you can't even count on those to break up the tediousness. And even though it's not trying to shove a new toy down your throat every episode, it still has the dreaded format of all modern tokus where it's focused on characters just collecting shit. Yawn. So they might as well just pack the thing with toys, with its focus going so much into the boring-ass Lupin Collection. (Ooh, I'm supposed to get all tingly with emotion just because each treasure is a quickly made 3D-printed homage to a past Sentai prop? I'm flipping you the bird right now, Toei. They can't even put in the effort to have the prop cutesily match up with whatever power it's supposed to give the Gangler.) Fine, some pieces are supposed to be more important, because they're a new mecha or weapon upgrade, but even if I was a mecha fan, I doubt I'd like the mecha in this show, because they're an eyesore.

It's still as set on cruise-control effort-wise, tedious and full of wasted potential as most every post-Gokai Sentai has been, but not QUITE as annoying as shows like Kyuranger or Kyoryuger. Sometimes I wouldn't mind the show, sometimes I would be bored outta my gourd because all of the same notes it would hit. It's safe. It's boring. (They could have broken up the tedium by every once in a while throwing in a case for the cops that had nothing to do with a Gangler -- give them other villains to contend with. And give the Lupinranger someone else to fight over the Lupin Collection with since the cops didn't give a shit! Not that hard, guys.) Sometimes I wouldn't mind the show, sometimes I would be bored outta my mind. Still, though, since I like a few of the characters, I thought it had potential, and it was nice after something like Kyuranger to have characters who seemed like people, it has more of an advantage over a couple of other shows. As it is, I'd probably rank it between Hurricaneger and Goseiger on my ranking list, putting it at number 37.

The show needed to either just be 25 episodes long or plan itself better. It was a little too afraid to take itself as seriously as it obviously wanted to, and too afraid to break away from the norm. I think it was a mistake to have the cops enter the thieves' domain so soon into the series -- practically being buds with the Jurer staff by episode two led to a lot of the stalling and tail-chasing. I think the show should have started out by having the Lupinranger and Patranger in their own stories, and never intersecting. After the first cours, have the Lupinranger put themselves on the cops' radar. And then they're fighting for a while. By the early 20s, THEN have the cops becomes regulars -- maybe even friends -- with them as patrons of Jurer. Milking the tension of "Ooh, are the cops ever going to find out" for just 15 or so episodes towards the end of the series would be so much more believable and less frustrating as a viewer.

I think the show could have still twiddled its thumbs with the Lupinranger's loved ones and Zamigo as it did if they had done something like I'd just described. But the show pretty much lays out all of its ideas by episode two, and so it's just stalling for the rest of the series on every one of their ongoing stories. It just gets old after a while, and strains believability. It makes everyone seem stupid. (Stupider, in Sakuya's case.) It could have been a better show! That's basically my reaction to so many Sentai of the past several years. There's ingredients for there to be a better show, but Toei's just content with doing the bare minimum and switching to auto-pilot. A shame.

I think this one's going to end up like Go-busters. Like, it's a flat and boring show, but shows are going to get so bad, the fandom will look back like "Yeah, Lupinranger VS Patranger looks pretty amazing now."