Kamen Rider Black Wrap-up & The RX Meltdown

I know I've been a real wise-ass about the past few episodes of Black, and even the finale, but I like them for the most part. It's just hard not to feel disappointment in the show's final 20 or so episodes, especially when you think of those early episodes and what Uehara might have done with the show if he stayed with it. I really feel like Sugimura kind of just didn't care when he took over, and then the budget's reduced and that's twice as harmful to the show. A lot of those big, epic, Biblical moments the show goes for at the end, and the scenes of cities ravaged, just aren't given the attention and depth they need. (Hey, no-budget backlot stuff still beats the way Gaim tries to convey Zawame's destruction by radio updates!)

And the final face-off between Black and the injured Shadow Moon IS cool. I mock the redecorated Golgom lair, but it at least gets the mood right. When I think of Black Sun and Shadow Moon having their massive, final fight, I picture it in a darkened city, or on a mountaintop while it storms at night. Darkness, is the point. So, they made the best use of their little blackened out studio space as best they could. It's quick, it's brutal, and it's the words exchanged that are more brutal than the fight. No real complaints about how Shadow Moon was defeated.

There's a lot in the second half that could be trimmed or done better, but there was obviously a lot of behind-the-scenes troubles and budget cuts and, in the end, the show turned out better than it could have ended up under those conditions. I might not like Sugimura's style, but he was able to deliver a strong finale. I still can't let go of my disappointment that the show starts so strong and unique and dark and descends into old-fashioned kidsville, I still mourn the dip in quality the show takes. It's not as severe a situation as Liveman, though. Liveman has a great start and just fizzles and ceases to resemble the same show by its end. Black changes, and not for the better, but it at least doesn't totally lose its identity, it's just a show that zigged when it should have just kept on its course. (What happens to Liveman is heartbreaking; what happens to Black is just frustrating.) If Black started out seeming like a precursor to Tim Burton's Batman, then the second half of the show is Batman Forever -- there's some good elements there, but A LOT of moldy cheese you have to navigate around. Terrible analogy, but whatever.

The biggest change for me on this viewing is Shadow Moon. I used to be kind of disappointed in how they handled him. I always thought he looked goofy just standing still at the center of the Golgom lair the way he always did -- couldn't they have built an awesome throne for him, one made out of skulls or something? I always thought he was extremely overrated. But I tried to pay attention to suit-actor Iwata's performance this time, listen carefully to Terasoma's voice-overs. They both do a good job, and Shadow Moon has this huge, ominous, dangerous feel to him, the way Iwata carries him. And I've made peace with the fact that the show doesn't exactly do a good job of giving you a sense of Nobuhiko, so we don't really care as much as we could that Nobuhiko is lost inside Shadow Moon. We needed a better actor for Nobuhiko, we needed SOME dialogue for him, we needed more scenes of who we was before Shadow Moon.

This is one of my many, many problems with RX. Put aside the fact it's a stupid, horrendous, moronic pile of garbage. Ignore that it's a terrible sequel to Black. Think of Black's problems. Think of how a potential sequel series would offer many opportunities to fix, or at least smooth over, some of Black's rough patches. You had a whole year of show to do, and you NEVER fix the blunder that was shipping Kyoko and Katsumi off to America? You don't have to get the actresses back, have them send Koutarou a fucking letter. "Hey, when you went for your nap at the bottom of the sea, we left Japan, as you instructed. You can write us here. Hope to hear from you soon, because I don't know why you act like we're fucking dead when we're just in another country. Love, Kyoko. P.S. I hear you're driving a ladybug car now. That's why I haven't returned to Japan, I would be too embarrassed to be seen with you. What kind of Kamen Rider drives a ladybug car?"

How about acknowledging how tragic it is that Koutarou, having survived a long and personal battle, is pulled back into fighting? This isn't the '70s Riders, where Shocker's main branch was defeated, so Hongou travels the world to fight other branches. This isn't the '70s Riders, where Shocker just keeps mutating, so the '70s Riders' job is never finished. Golgom was destroyed, Koutarou won, the end. And now he's targeted and brought into a new battle against his will. No, don't explore that at all, just have him be a goofball who laughs it all off.

But, no, RX would rather barely ever mention the more successful show which it wouldn't exist without. As much of a problem I have with Sugimura, why wouldn't they get him as main writer for RX? Why flip through your candidates and settle for the guy who brought you Super fucking One? A guy who had NOTHING to do with Black? Why choose him to head its sequel? (Takashi Ezure basically is Sugimura without the penchant for weirdness. That means jack left town, and you're left with the excessive amount of kids, but even MORE generic storylines.) And, hey, I enjoy Super One, it's mostly goofy fun -- but it ain't a Rider show. There's not a Kamen Rider-y bone in its body! So you get THAT guy to pen the follow-up to the show that was trying to modernize the classic Rider formula, making practically the epitome of Kamen Rider? Bad, bad, BAD decision.

Rather than be a proper follow-up, rather than look to Black and extend its world, fix some pot holes in the road, be an actual continuation, RX would rather try to fuse together the dead style of the Space Sheriffs with the out-of-place "comedy" found in the stop-trying-to-make-them-happen Fushigi Comedy series for their sequel to Black. Like, why in the hell did they think it was such a good idea to depict all of the supporting players the way they do? The Saharas are the most unlikable, unsympathetic, obnoxious, useless, loud, worst supporting "characters" in toku. The show never tries to make them realistic, tolerable or likable, and the show devotes FAR too much time to their antics. (Really, this show should be called "That Screeching Chubby Kid, Featuring RX.") I know they're supposed to be "funny," by why did even the Sahara parents have to be shrieking nitwits?

Being surrounded by such imbeciles, being such a lighter show that doesn't resemble its predecessor, this changes Koutarou into a generic buffoon. If Black went from being Batman to Batman Forever, then RX is definitely Batman & Robin. How the shows' creators could be so clueless, so tone-deaf, so misunderstanding of their audience that they let their work fall so quickly is a mystery. I dislike RX so much that I refuse to even call it "Kamen Rider *Black* RX." It's so far from Black, so far from Koutarou, it's an entirely separate thing. To me, it's just "Kamen Rider RX." And even then, if you view it as its own thing, it's still way past the boundaries of being watchable; a horrifically written and acted mess. And I'm not trying to be cute or humorous or simply hyperbolic here -- I loathe RX. I say I hate Go-onger or Den-O for being stupid, but they're just stupid shows. RX is stupid...AND bad...AND inept...AND tarnishes a good show while it's at it.

A solid example of a bad sequel, RX is one of the absolute worst toku shows, in the truest sense of the word. It's unwatchable, a Mt. Fuji-sized pile of radioactive, worm-infested chimpanzee shit. Time freezes when you try to watch the show, and everything sucks in that moment -- watching RX could be used as a form of punishment. The ONLY good things to be found in it is the soundtrack and Atsuko Takahata's performance as Maribaron, and the show deserves neither. People like to think Saban's Masked Rider is some embarrassing failure and blemish on Kamen Rider's record, one that Ishinomori took as a huge insult, but it's mostly that bad because RX gave it nothing good to work with. Ferbus > Kasumi no Joe. The best thing to come out of Kamen Rider Decade was splitting the two shows up and bringing Black back into things.

You know who should have written Black RX? Susumu Takaku. He had proven with Machineman and Byclosser that he can write entertaining, kid-friendly, episodic escapist fare -- which RX wanted to be, for some reason -- but he also showed with Metalder just what an emotional and deep show he could do. He would have walked a line between lightness and depth. (RX has the depth of a piss puddle.)

All in all, for as much as I look like I complained, I still really like Black, and had a damn fun time watching it again. It's a classic, it was influential. (I think Keita Amemiya's entire career has been trying to make a perfect Black. I certainly think he thinks GARO is Black done right, but he's wrong.) Still, it's hard for me to not feel frustrated in turns it took. Is it too much to hope for Tetsuo Kurata to return in his own movie next year, for the show's 30th anniversary, giving us the proper follow-up to Black we should have had? And keep your new sucky Rider out of the movie -- just make it Black, dammit, keep your sugary new crap out of it, Toei!

Black Guardian Spirit: Kamen Rider Black 46 - 51 (finale)

 
46 - Baraom sees the episode number and decides it's time for him to die, but he's pretending to be all honorable and act like it's vengeance for Bishum. Other than Baraom being a phony, the rest of the episode is decent, though.

The Creation King is making his presence known in a shape on the sun (he really just looks like a burning carrot slice); freak occurrences then begin to happen on Earth. I think if the show was of the same quality as it was early on, the sense of dread and doom these final episodes try to convey would have been stronger. They're still good, though.

Koutarou is celebrating his birthday, and it's odd that it's a joyous occasion until Kyoko brings up Nobuhiko. Dude, you grew up with the guy, you shared the same birthdate, how did you not already think of that? Before the show lets you dwell on Koutarou's brain-fart too long, he and Shadow Moon are pulled into a grasshopper-filled vision by the Creation King, who does his best Shiro Kanzaki impression by just telling them to fight and get it over with.

Baraom's big plan is to use the whale monster, who he knows plans on defecting from Golgom. (The whale monster had been eavesdropping earlier in the episode, hearing Darom and Baraom laying out plans to destroy the seas. This is when whale monster had the epiphany that maybe these Golgom guys aren't the awesome party dudes they claimed to be.) While whale monster is fighting Black, Baraom attacks with twin tusk swords, stabbing the whale monster through the back (symbolism! Baraom literally doing to the whale what he's punishing the whale for doing to Golgom), and TRYING TO KABOB BLACK AT THE SAME TIME, TOO. Why's the show obsessed with this idea? Or is Baraom being his usual stooge self and couldn't come up with anything better but to rip off someone else's idea from a previous episode?

Long story short, Black kills Baraom and saves whale monster, making a new BFF who he leads back to the sea. Whale monster will be important, so it's a shame his design isn't better, and that the suit isn't made better. (And I always thought it was a shame he wasn't given a human avatar. Maybe that's a good thing, because it probably would have been another goddamn kid.) Before Baraom dies, he unleashes a big attack on Black, who's standing on top of a mountain, and is just totally still and cool as a ton of explosions go off around him. That was awesome. He won't be intimidated by the likes of Baraom, dammit.

The Creation King whisks Shadow Moon away on another vision chat, telling him to get moving on fighting Black. Why? Because he's dying and needs a successor. Why's it so important, when it's obvious that Black ain't going to be taking over Golgom if he kills Shadow Moon? I don't know, that's a good question, and one only Shozo Uehara probably knows the answer to. Isn't Shadow Moon pretty much already in charge, anyway? What's he going to gain by getting back the King Stone? Is the Creation King making up rules as he goes along? What are you, a reporter? Why are you asking so many questions -- piss off!

47 - An episode that would be much better with more money, and a better title than "Rider Dies!" Japan and their love for giveaway titles. Like...you see that title and you know that, if Rider dies, he ain't going to stay dead, so maybe that's not a big deal. And when you see Rider "die," you know he's not going to stay dead, no matter what the episode is called. But "Rider Dies!" telegraphs it and there's no surprise. Just call it the generic old "Decisive Battle!" and let people be shocked by the outcome.

Because imagine watching this episode not knowing what's coming up. You'd probably assume the battle would be interfered with or it would come to a draw or Shadow Moon would pull the old Wolzard "Your head's not in the fight! Come back when you're focused and stronger!" But, no, you see the title and wait for Shadow Moon to deliver the killing stroke.

The episode handles it all well, though. The Shonen Golgom Tai return -- with only two returning actors this time, and a whole lotta new ones -- and have been fighting off Golgom. I like the scene when the Shonen Senshi, Kyoko and Katsumi each stand up, one by one, and give Koutarou the OK to fight Shadow Moon. That so much pain and damage has been caused by him and Golgom that he should really just be stopped. There's a good bit when Koutarou's trying to send Kyoko and Katsumi away from Japan because he doesn't want them witnessing the fight, because he knows one of them's not going to be left standing. Kyoko kind of undoes her strong decision from just minutes prior of declaring she thinks Nobuhiko is lost and that Koutarou should fight him by being like "What?! You two are fighting to the death!?!? Forget what I said!" A lame bit making her look crazy or like a dumb-dumb.

Since the last episode, Shadow Moon has supposedly cast a pall over Tokyo, not letting the sun shine until Black agrees to fight him, this Saturday night, for the championship belt! But it still looks sunny! Cheap, production. Cheap. And there's still all sorts of calamitous happenings and Golgom attacks, and although there's not the budget to reflect it well, the show does a creepy job of trying to sell the idea of doom by having politicians fighting each other in despair and showing monks crying doom and nuns praying.

I don't know what happened to all of the cool action this show once had, but it's slipped in the last dozen episodes, so Black and Shadow Moon's fight isn't as awesome as it once would have been. Black had cooler fights with Birugenia, and he was just the placeholder until Shadow Moon came on, so that's sad. This fight isn't terrible, but you expect something grander, and something not filmed at the fucking rocks that every no name monster fight in a Metal Hero happens at. They start off pretty evenly, and then Black has the upperhand, and then Shadow Moon is saved by a cheat. Despite telling the Creation King to not interfere, that's exactly what the Creation King does, and it's what leads Shadow Moon to win, and Shadow Moon doesn't even care that there was the interference though he expressed he didn't want one.

In yet another one of his three-second appearances, Takahito Horiuchi returns as Nobuhiko, the Creation King allowing Shadow Moon to revert to Nobuhiko to throw Black off, giving Shadow Moon the upperhand. I was actually surprised by this the first time I saw it, because I didn't think the series was ever going to show Shadow Moon revert to Nobuhiko. I really don't like the usage of the OP theme here, though. Why play the triumphant and heroic theme for Nobuhiko, as he then kicks Black's ass? These final episodes are full of bad song uses. Anyway, Shadow Moon delivers the killing blow, stabbing Black through the abdomen. In a surprise moment, the Creation King orders Shadow Moon to cut out the King Stone, but he can't bear to do it once Black reverts to being Koutarou. This pisses the Creation King off, but Shadow Moon is all "Eh, I don't need his King Stone. I'll be a great King without it!" Which just makes you wonder why it was so important to begin with. Why create two people to fight, with separate stones, just to have the victor take both stones...eh? I kind of got the impression early on that the point of a sun vs moon stone is that maybe whoever won would influence the world -- like, if Shadow Moon won, maybe that meant a long period of darkness. If Black Sun wins, maybe the world would becoming a blazing, Mad Max kind of desert. I dunno.

Kyoko and Katsumi -- who against Koutarou's wishes, snuck and watched the fight by the sidelines -- join his side, and I like how this is done. Jiro Okamoto's doing a good job acting Black's final moments, as he weakly tells Kyoko and Katsumi to leave Japan ASAP (because shit's 'bout to get nuts there, and there's no one there to stop it), as well as gratitude for supporting him, and last goodbyes. Kyoko and Katsumi's actresses sell the hell out of this scene, and then there's an earthquake which carries Rider's body away first by rock fall, and then by launching him into the waters. Baraom's death led to a similar massive earthquake, and it gives these big events a kind of Biblical feel to them, which is great at making it all seem epic. (Sorry, Bishum -- despite being way better at your job than Baraom, all you get is some sparklers and colored smoke, but no earthquake. And your final fight will be filmed in the studio, too.)

The episode ends on this downer, and with a feeling of dread and uncertainty, and it's a great cliffhanger, which all gets ruined by the next episode's preview. It would have been awesome to have a Black-free episode, where Golgom's just causing chaos and the people are in a panic, but...that's what happens when you waste good episode time on stupid shit like Golgom's warp machine that's ruined by a kid's remote control car controller.

48 - Episode is 70% clip show, which kind of sucks. Toei obviously just doesn't want to put money into the show at this point -- the fools are putting all of their eggs in RX's basket. Joke's on them.

But the show depicts a Japan that's similar to a zombie movie -- monsters are attacking the streets, people are fleeing their homes, we're shown that Golgom's monsters aren't the only monsters on the planet, but that there's some human monsters, too. (Uehara would have done this better than Miyashita or Sugimura.) That's right, as Kyoko and Katsumi drive (presumably to the airport), they're ambushed by a group of greedy people out to steal their car, their money, their clothes, their boots, their motorcycle. Pandemonium! They get saved by a weird guy who should have been stunt casting, but is instead some generic pud who's a weak actor, so you question his motives. (Turns out the character is decent and on the up and up.)

This guy leads Kyoko and Katsumi to a hideaway, where he has a bunch of kids and has a boat that will get them all to America. This is supposed to be hopeful for the kids, but I still wonder what the fuck a bunch of kids are going to do once they get into America. Could the show have spared some money and thrown some adults into the mix, so you could assume these kids had parents and help make this all more believable?

Meanwhile, Shadow Moon is cocky about his victory and is ready to throw a "Woo-hoo! I'm the next Creation King" party. (Literally, he wants to celebrate.) The turnout is really lame, though -- Darom, that pesky bat monster, and Shadow Moon's two lame prostitutes/secretaries/babysitters/whatever. I don't think I mentioned them, but when Shadow Moon first takes over, he creates these two masked females who do nothing but stand by him. They don't talk, they don't fight, and their design is atrocious -- they look like something from Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills.

However, the Creation King tells him to hold his horses. Say WHAT?! Hasn't he been all "Hurry and fight! Time's running out! Hurry! Fight! Get the King Stone! Fight! Go! Hurry! Time is of the essence! Time's running out! Fight! Hurry and fight! Fight and hurry! Do one or both!" for the past umpteen episodes? Apparently, Shadow Moon needs Koutarou's King Stone, otherwise he won't be able to succeed the Creation King upon his death, and that will just result in Shadow Moon's death. Huh? The Creation King is TOTALLY making the rules up as he goes along. That, or we have a bad writer in our midst, one who doesn't care and hasn't even watched previous episodes.

The main event in this episode, though, is the whale monster finding Black's corpse at the bottom of the sea. The whale monster is concerned, and takes Black's body back to his underwater cave hideout, which I'll just call the Whale Cave. There, he places Black on a bedding that I *think* is supposed to be made of seaweed, but looks like garbage bags. Then the whale brings out a giant seashell and starts pouring dry-ice on Black, the narrator explaining to us that this is some sacred resurrection elixir that's passed down in the whale monster's tribe. OK. That's convenient. How handy! Damn lucky for Koutarou that he just met the whale monster recently, eh? Because what were his other options -- wait around for Aquaman?

Wouldn't it have been more interesting if the whale monster had been introduced long ago? Shouldn't it be some character we know and really, really like? What if it had been the ghost of Birugenia or something? What if Battle Hopper sacrificed itself for him? I don't know who suggested it (I'd like to credit them by name, but I honestly don't remember), but I remember reading someone say that it should have just been the sun saving him, and Koutarou should have resurrected and become RX here. At this late stage in the game, they were obviously getting RX up and running and knew Kurata was coming back, so that would have been a pretty neat thing to see. Wrap up Black with his new powers, then he goes on to that terrible new show. THAT would necessitate power-ups and stuff in his new show, since the RX form would have been spoiled by its use at the end of Black. That was an awesome idea, whoever said it. (And, no, it wasn't you ;-P)

The whale's not as dopey looking as Amazon's mole buddy, but there's still just something I find lacking about this whole bit. As I said, his design's not the greatest, the suit looks really shabby, like it was from a '60s show and has just been rotting in the warehouse. Maybe the choice of a whale carries some symbolism that I'm missing. Whale's really just shoehorned in here and is essentially a Red Shirt.

As whale's super Orange Lazarus cocktail begins to work on Black, Kyoko and Katsumi depart Japan, throwing a bouquet in honor of Koutarou into the seas. The bouquet washes up to the door of the Whale Cave, whale seeing them and placing them on Black's chest. This is when Black shows signs of life. You might say it's cheesy, but shut up! I like it.

The show came as close as they could to doing an episode without Black. (This is an episode without Koutarou, actually.) He's on the slab for the entire time, and we only see Black or Koutarou in action through old clips.

49 - Black has risen, and Koutarou is aghast at just how much things have changed in the day he's been dead. (I'm joking there; there's no real indication of how long he was meant to be dead, but it SEEMS like a short amount of time.) The show's been hinting at the chaos and destruction going on throughout Japan ever since Shadow Moon's arrival. But since Black died, the citizens of Japan have given up. Buildings have been leveled, things are ablaze. Things are bleak, there's pro-Golgom gangs terrorizing people and even kids playing Kamen Rider Black in the streets depict Black's loss and surrender to Golgom. The part with the kids is kind of goofy, but Tetsuo Kurata manages to seem actually heartbroken that Black's story has already been warped.

Koutarou could have been a little more stealthy and have the element of surprise, but Golgom quickly learns of his resurrection -- and whale monster's involvement -- and are after them. That pro-Golgom gang? They're tricked into capturing the whale by Darom, as a way to lure Black. Whale takes a beating throughout the episode, but Black is victorious, and the pro-Golgomers rebel once they learn that Darom isn't interested in them.

The episode ends with Koutarou tossing two flowers into the sea in honor of Kyoko and Katsumi, with words of farewell. (Kyoko and Katsumi have made it to San Francisco, in the fastest boat ride of all time.) He makes a vow, now absolutely positively certain, beyond a doubt, posilutely and absotively that Nobuhiko is beyond saving and he'll fight Shadow Moon...TO THE DEATH! Well, what took you so long in growing your balls, there, Koutarou?

50 - So many of these last episodes are clips and dragging things out! Between all of the terrible episodes in the 30s and 40s and all of the flashbacks that use all of the same insert songs, this show could have just been 42 episodes and been just fine!

In this one, Koutarou thoughtfully lugs the severely injured whale monster along to find one of the entrances to Golgom's lair. It's not enough he brought him back from the dead, but he's using him as a navigator, now, too. The Creation King teleports Koutarou into his inner sanctum, along with Shadow Moon, leaving the whale monster alone and easy pick'ins for this week's monster, who looks like some reject from Godneros' Mutant Army. RIP, whale monster; you confused me. Before he dies, he begs Koutarou to protect the waters. Koutarou doesn't hear him, otherwise he would probably have put a stop to all of Japan's whaling.

Elsewhere, we're shown Kyoko and Katsumi in San Francisco, reading the paper of Kamen Rider's return. (It made American news! What was that headline? "Scoop! Bug guy back from dead in Japan!") Kyoko frantically packs so she can return, but Katsumi stops her, saying that they need to stay out of Koutarou's way at this crucial time. It's something I never really understood. They know how much their presence helped motivate Koutarou. It reminds me of the way in season two of The Flash, Barry successfully gets his dad out of prison, and his dad's first move is to leave town so he won't interfere with his son's responsibility as a hero. Just...huh?

In the Creation King's hip and stylin' ELO-cover-inspired room, which in no way looks like the ordinary Golgom lair redressed, cheap production, the Creation King lays it out for the two knuckleheads he probably regrets recruiting for this whole thing. Not only does one who holds the title of Creation King get to live for 50,000 years, but he gets all sorts of crazy powers over not just the world...but the universe! Creation King also reveals his true form -- he doesn't look like a burning carrot slice, just a big rubber heart that glows. The Creation King says that whoever takes over gets to rule and wipe out mankind, which Black is all "Meh, no thanks! I'm the good guy, dipshit." To which the Creation King is all "This was a bad idea! Sorry, Shadow Moon, even though it was painfully obvious this Black Sun tit's not going to cooperate, I'm backing you! GOOD DAY!" and ejects them into a flowery field.

Black's impressed by the view. He sees Shadow Moon and is literally like "Isn't this beautiful? How can you want to destroy this, Nobuhiko?" And Shadow Moon is all "Leave the serene, lyrical stuff to Metalder. It don't work coming from you. Let's fight!" At some point, Shadow Moon reveals the ace up his sleeve...he calls for Battle Hopper, who responds! That's right, he says that since Battle Hopper was created for the Century King/Creation King, that's is HIS toy, too, and he's using it! (Why he hasn't prior to this, especially to stop Black from winning the day, is yet another question mark/plot hole/question hole for the new writers.)

Because you're fed up with Koutarou always blowing things by thinking he can talk to Nobuhiko, and because you're fed up with Shadow Moon just standing there with his threats, Battle Hopper's the only person you're liking in this scene right now. Will Kamen Rider have to fight Battle Hopper who, let's be honest, is so much more likable and a better friend and brother than Nobuhiko? TO BE CONTINUED!

51 - Battle Hopper hasn't appeared much lately, Koutarou's been going for the Road Sucktor, probably because kids weren't buying that shitty toy. So, this whole fight's a dirty trick of the writers to pull. Shadow Moon's controlling Battle Hopper's movements, but not its heart. Battle Hopper's actually crying that he's attacking Koutarou/Black. Black wants to free his friend before harming him, so he King Stone Flashes Shadow Moon (proof that Battle Hopper matters more to him than Nobuhiko!) and sends Shadow Moon flying off the bike. Shadow Moon takes his sword and slices through Battle Hopper several times before Black beats the crap out of him, Rider Kicking him, the works, and Shadow Moon runs back home with the help of his two masked babysitters.

And then, the heartbreak. Battle Hopper's laying in pieces, and Black makes his way over to it. For the first time, it talks, rasping out a weak thanks to Black, before dying. What's it say about this show's priorities that you care more about Battle Hopper than Nobuhiko at this point? What's it say about Takahito Horiuchi as an actor that a piece of Suzuki metal is more likable than he is? Even when he's just smiling in those Clearasil commercial flashbacks, you just hate that guy and want to punch him. Black understands. He's pissed now. When he fled, Shadow Moon dropped his sword. Black picks up his sword, and follows Shadow Moon's trail of urine back to the Golgom lair.

Black enters, and finds Shadow Moon being a bit over dramatic, smoking and clutching his wounds. Shadow Moon's obviously not up for any more fighting, not even an arm wrestling match. Not even a thumb-wrestling match! But he still has some nasty words left in him, telling Koutarou that he hates him. Black warns him not to bother attacking, but he does, and Black slices through his King Stone, and Shadow Moon falls. He lays on his back, dying, but still kicking enough to compliment Black some more. "I still win, because you'll live the rest of your life in misery knowing you killed your brother." At this point, Koutarou must be thinking "I'm glad you're dying, you dick. Why didn't I do it sooner?!" Shadow Moon requests his sword, with an emo line that he doesn't want to go to hell without it. Black grants his request and gives him the sword! Couple of geniuses here. Shadow Moon, not surprisingly -- well, not to anyone who isn't Black -- turns the sword on Black, targeting his throat, and then goes limp, dead.

Suddenly, the Creation King chimes in. "Well done, Black Sun, my son! Come in here, give me a kiss, I'll be on my way and you'll be the new Creation King!" Black goes into the Creation King's chambers and stares directly at that big, floating rubber heart. "Hey, genius, didn't you hear what I said in the last episode? Have you not watched this entire series? Who the fuck do you think I am? Why would you think I'd be the next Creation King?" The Creation King throws a tantrum. "Well, if you won't be Creation King, well I, I'll..." Panicking, he picks Generic Bad Guy Solution #5 -- he opens a hole to the Earth's core and threatens to throw himself in it, causing the Earth to explode, if Black doesn't agree. He places a lasery shield in front of him for protection.

Black calls the Road Sucktor and, spoiler alert, it fails. See? I told you that thing sucks. Then Black has a brainstorm. "Hey, if our terrible writers realized in episode 50 that Shadow Moon could use Battle Hopper since it was made for the Creation King, then shouldn't the terrible writers be writing that I can use Shadow Moon's sword, which was made for the Creation King?" That he does! He calls for the sword and chucks it right into the Creation King's rubber heart! The Creation King growls and goes to Generic Bad Guy Parting Words Chapter 11, in which he quotes "I'll be back! As long as men are wicked and roam the earth, I'll return! Death is but a window, time is but a door, I'll be back!" And then he explodes, the base explodes, Koutarou's riding out of there, stopping by Shadow Moon but not being able to do anything. He continues on as Golgom's destroyed...

We then see him standing on a cliff's edge, in heavy rain, where he tosses the sword over the edge and it disappears. The narrator remarks that it's rained heavily since Golgom's fall, as if the Earth is having the evil washed away from it. It gives the show another Biblical kind of feel and weight to it. Eventually, the rain stops, and we're shown the people of Japan happily resuming their lives.

Koutarou, however, sits in the dark and abandoned Capitola, reminiscing about his family. We're treated to the same clips we've been seeing for the past few episodes -- the same clips we've seen the entire show, really. See, whenever people knock Takeru's flashbacks of Mio in Maskman, I really hate them for it. Maskman filmed those scenes beautifully, giving them the grandness and loveliness of the storybook romance it was supposed to be. Think of those beautiful shots on the beach, with the sun setting. Think of the artsy shots of the flowers, as Mio's hat rolls by. If you're going to show a clip all the time to convey a character who's been lost, film it well, like Maskman! Black wants to get mileage out of the same two clips which are as generic and artsy as an allergy medication commercial. Couldn't they come up with one or two more clips, one that actually had dialogue, one that you made you care more about Nobuhiko than "Wow! He really likes laughing at waves!" Or "Wow! He really can't kick a soccer ball!"

Koutarou finishes his thoughts, says a farewell, and rides on to a new adventure. Sadly, that new adventure is a terrible, terrible new show that will kill the franchise for a decade. It's interesting that episode 51 doesn't end with the traditional "OWARI," it's just blank.

And that's Kamen Rider Black... But I ain't shutting up about it. Stay tuned for an outro!

Black Cloud: Kamen Rider Black episodes 41 - 45

41 - The tone of this episode is wonky. Just...wonkin' all over the place. It starts off being about a young boy's pain at losing his father during Golgom's big Dai Kaijin Upgrade Attack from episode 36. That's good, looking into some of the actual trauma Golgom's caused, and it gives Koutarou a nice moment of seeing beyond himself and his own pain and realizing just how many lives Golgom's ruined. But the episode quickly turns to...two ashigaru with a time-machine landing in 1988 and wreaking havoc? What. The. Shit? And if that doesn't sound strange enough to you, these two guys are played by a comedic duo (Yuutopia), so "hilarity" ensues.

Don't you love it how, in tokusatsu, time travel is indicated by the hands of a clock moving around? That happens a whole bunch here. Entertainment in the 1980s just loved time-travel, so why not let Black try it out, even if it doesn't fit? The kid eventually spots the two time-travelers -- who got the machine they don't know how to use from Golgom's latest monster -- and decides to tag along, in hopes of going to the day his dad was killed and warning him.

Now, the episode depicts time-traveling as the three hunched together while a whirlpool is superimposed onto the screen. I've heard the expression "oceans of time," but this looks more like "the toilet flush of time." I don't understand why they'd go with this effect, but, hey, we're in the 40s, and we're trying to save some money! The kid spots the day his dad is killed, but is prevented from doing anything by the two ancient guys because he'd be lost in time if he left their flushing effect. So, the kid gets to watch his dad die again, which is fun times for him.

Koutarou eventually tags on to help, and gets a glimpse of the day of his and Nobuhiko's 19th birthday. Precisely, a moment when Nobuhiko was waiting on a late Koutarou BEFORE they got to their creepy party. Koutarou sees this as a huge advantage, and a way to save himself (and many others) pain by interfering and telling Nobuhiko to GTFO. The two ashigaru give Koutarou the same warning that he could be lost in time, and Koutarou is all "Shut up! I'm the title of the show, it will be just fine." He successfully jumps to the day and sounds like a nut blabbering his warnings and Nobuhiko just laughs him off. Way to go, Koutarou!

I'm being a flippant dick about this, but to be honest, I thought this episode was really cool when I first saw it. Well, at least the part about Koutarou wanting to go back in time to stop Nobuhiko (and himself) from attending that creepshow of a birthday party (and its subsequent abduction). I think it's a damn good idea, so interesting -- WHAT WOULD KOUTAROU DO IF HE HAD A CHANCE TO CHANGE THAT NIGHT? That's an idea that should have been the whole episode. It's a bit too sci-fi-y of an idea for Black, if I must say, but it's preferable to using just a pinch of this idea wrapped up in a goofshow. (I'd say it's an idea better suited for the more sci-fi in nature Black RX, but that show's so horribly made it would have done it even stupider.)

The worst, though, might be that the final battle takes place on an easel-shaped clock face that's floating on the toilet tide of time. Black is fighting the monster, while the hands of the clock risk decapitating the kid, who's tied up, with the "hilarious" ashigaru trying to cut through their chains. Meanwhile, random folks of yesteryear -- those lost in time -- are climbing up the side of the giant clock face and trying to drag Black down with them. It's something that probably looked and sounded good in the writer's head, but is just goofy and doesn't play well on screen.

42 - More kids. Jesus wept. Two brothers, one strong and one weak, who both have extra-sensory powers. The strong one has displayed his powers, the weak one's said to be stronger, but his haven't shown. Golgom targets the strong one so their latest monster can possess him and use his powers to help resurrect Golgom monsters. It's so clumsy the way the show addresses this problem: Shadow Moon is all "We need to start our take-over, but for it to work, we need more monsters!" And one of the trio is like "Black's killed too many! What do we do?" And so they come up with this winning plan of raising dead monsters.

Raising dead monsters = we want to save money. Black's done this already in the second movie. It's way too late in the game to be having such ho-hum episodes. Shit or get off the pot, as they say, Kamen Rider Black.

There's one good scene where Koutarou is being covered in multiple revived monsters, and he's desperately trying to break through to the weak kid to access his abilities and help him overcome the possessed brother. Just some parallels between Koutarou and Nobuhiko and the two guests, with Koutarou bringing up how he's struggling to free HIS under-the-influence-of-evil brother. A nice idea, and a strong backbone for an episode, it's just done in a bland way.

43 - Another basically inessential episode, but I don't mind this one too much. Kikaider's Shun Ueda is a Golgom monster who's basically selling smarthouses (I KNEW those were a Golgom plot). Surprise! The supposedly great technology of the house is really controlled by Golgom, who use it to lead the people living in their smartapartment into a subterranean land of Golgom's where they'll gradually have their lifeforce drained and fed to Golgom monsters.

A kid -- of course, because Sugimura's taken over the show -- notices the strange goings-on and gets Koutarou's help. Kyoko and Katsumi get to help out, as they journey to Golgom's underground zoo to help free people, AND they go Johnny Rotten bonkers and destroy Golgom's life-sucking device by smashing it to pieces. Pretty cool. There's also this weird cop-out where Shadow Moon randomly shows up and challenges Black to fight, and Black is like "Seriously? There's two minutes left in this filler episode, you really think we're going to have our big Royal Rumble, Summer Century King Smackdown here and now? Take a hike, you fucking toaster." (Verbatim.)

These goddamn kids clogging up the show, though. Like I've said, it's a very outdated mode of storytelling for toku by the late '80s. This is the area of the more generic '70s shows. Shows in the '80s still had kid guest stars, sure, but focus also went to guest stars of all ages. Sugimura had this thing about involving kids -- I remember a quote of his which was to the effect of "Just because you focus on kids doesn't mean [your stories] can't be dramatic." But I just see it as a way of looking down on toku, that he thought these were just kids shows so it ALWAYS had to involve a kid. He believed in this so much so, that he was the first one to make a kid a regular hero. (In Dairanger, aka Gosei Sentai Kouranger, because Kou overtakes the show from episodes 15 - 48.) I don't think it's a coincidence that Black become so kid-centric once Sugimura became more involved.

Look at episode 3. Uehara wrote it, a kid was highlighted. He was a survivor of the train attack, and Koutarou found him and took him back to the shop and got some info out of him. That was the end of his involvement. Because the show's called Kamen Rider Black, not Random Kid You Won't See Next Week Being Saved by Kamen Rider Black. What's the common thing in Sugimura's later shows like Jiban, Winspector, Solbrain, Zyuranger, Dairanger, Kakuranger, Ohranger? The heroes feel like the guest-stars in their own shows and the kid of the week -- who you don't care about, who you won't see again -- takes the spotlight. I feel like only Dairanger eased up on that, and that was because of Kou eating up so much of the thing as a regular that it was free to not be so kid-heavy in ordinary episodes.

In other mid-to-late '80s toku shows, when there would be a guest-star (kid or otherwise), it would often serve to flesh out one of the regular characters through befriending or saving that guest character. (And it wasn't always the heroes it helped flesh out, but a lot of times a guest would figure into a regular villain's past or storyline or development.) I find the way guests and their storylines are typically done in '70s shows -- and Sugimura's, and therefore often latter Black -- to be kind of impersonal. It's not done in a way that illuminates a regular. Usually, the regular doesn't even factor in, we're focusing on this guest that you just can't invest in, because they're inconsequential in the long run. You know you're in trouble when you'll be seven minutes into an episode and the main hero hasn't even appeared -- it will be the guest of the week you've been following, and the hero is only brought into the mix by randomly driving by or getting a message from the Shonen Riders! Also, think back to the early episode of Black that focused on Jouji Nakata's guest-character. An episode about a dude in his 30s! You wouldn't catch Sugimura doing that.

And I don't mean to sound like I'm slamming '70s era tokusatsu. You know I enjoy a lot of those shows, even though I'm an '80s guy. I'm well aware of differing storytelling styles employed by shows of the past. (And I'm aware that there are obnoxious youngsters out there who have a problem with the '80s style that I'm extolling.) It's not something unique to tokusatsu, American shows were typically formulaic or episodic and devoted to guest-stars of the week in the '60s and '70s. I just think, by 1988, tokusatsu had made advances on moving away from that, and writers like Sugimura yank it backward. THAT'S what I have a problem with. And I especially don't like seeing it in Black, a show that was shaping up to be something different and better and forward-looking, but got mired down in a very average and typical approach to superhero and toku shows.

44 - Dispensable and silly episode which stars yet another random kid. Golgom's come up with some great warp machine that they plan to use to...transfer the seas of Japan into the subway and cause Tokyo to sink? And this machine is interfered with by a kid's radio controlled car? Did Golgom make their machine with parts bought at Big Lots or something? Stupid. Too stupid and pointless of an episode this late in the series. This is the only episode I think Tetsuo Kurata really phones in, and it's understandable.

This is the second episode in a row when Koutarou hears the kid guest star describing some obviously shady Golgom shit and Koutarou -- remember, the paranoid Koutarou who blames everything on Golgom -- laughs off the kid and asks if he's sure he wasn't asleep. Condescending ass. That happens a lot in these old Kamen Rider shows, when you know the Kamen Rider's always on the lookout for strange goings-on by the bad guy. Koutarou's usually been better about this, more open-minded.

45 - Bishum concocts a convoluted plan to lure Koutarou to a battle zone so she can unleash a suicide attack on him. If Bishum just wanted to kidnap Koutarou to lure him into a trap, she should have just done that. Instead, we have to go through this dull plot of her disguising herself as an ikebana teacher and unleashing these flowers that make women go insane and, every Japanese man's nightmare, rebel against doing housework and cooking and shit.

But when you get to the heart of the episode, there's some good stuff. Kyoko's the standout. Kyoko encounters a former school friend, who doesn't understand why Kyoko's vanished. It's important to remember that we saw Kyoko in a school uniform in the first episode; she's obviously dropped out after Golgom ruined her family and she has to support Koutarou in his fight (and run the shop that was forced upon her). Sad.

About the shop...prior to this viewing of the series, if I was a contestant on a game-show and the million dollar question was to name the shop they're always at in this show, I'd have lost. As many times as I've watched this show, as much as I like this show, I didn't know the name. I don't think anybody says it! It's just shown on a sign a couple of times, and it's such a random name that I must have thought it was some of the Engrish signs that were hanging on the building. (Stuff like "Diving good! Me like!") Don't be caught with your pants down, kids, and win that million -- the answer is Capitola. Capitola diving shop and bar. It's such a common thing, a universal concept. "You know, I really need a new wetsuit. I love me some scuba diving. I guess I'll head over to Capitola, and while I'm there, maybe some Wild Turkey will help me decide what suit to buy -- black, light black, grey." No wonder Toudou disappears, he was an absolute crackpot. Head on over to Capitola, buy yourself a snorkel and get some booze from our teenage barkeep. Why go to an ordinary bar? To watch some sports? Here at Capitola, our television always plays the news, so you can catch the latest report of a kaijin attack. Once in a while some weird guy who always wears motorcycle gloves will dash out like a madman, saying something that sounds like "It's a Goal Gum plan!"

Once Bishum gets Black to fight, she restrains him and orders Shadow Moon to send the killing blow, which he does from Golgom's base, which is just a laser-y blade that he stabs through Bishum's back, with the intention of kabobbing Black, too. Kyoko throws herself in front of Black, intending to become part of the kabob, wanting to die if Black does. This leads Shadow Moon to hesitate and withdraw the attack, with only Bishum dying as a result. Not a good day to be working for Golgom; a death on the job, and now Shadow Moon will have to file a report and internal affairs is going be on him, and it's going to make his life a living hell, and he really needs to be focusing on fighting Black -- eventually -- and, just, ugh, life is hard for Shadow Moon. He just woke up several episodes ago, he wasn't expecting this shit.

Black Lightning: Kamen Rider Black episodes 37 - 40 + Movie 2

37 - A stab at getting a little more grounded and personal; Katsumi and the others are in Yubari for a friend's wedding, when Shadow Moon coldly uses Katsumi by manipulating her into capturing the newlywed friend (a teacher), all to give Koutarou a taste of what it's like to see the fall of a loved one (as if he hasn't with Nobuhiko), to see the loved one cause misery, and to be powerless to stop them. It's interesting to think that maybe Shadow Moon chose Katsumi in hopes that she'd be harmed or killed, maybe that he's aware there's feelings for her deep within him, and he needs to be rid of them, but the show doesn't make that clear.

Katsumi actress Ayumi Taguchi is good at playing bad, though. Makes you wonder what it would have been like if Katsumi had long ago decided to join Golgom for Nobuhiko's sake and become a new villainess for the show. I also think she might be wearing Yellow Mask's shirt from Maskman in this episode.

Something that always sticks out for me about this episode: Pink Flash actress Mayumi Yoshida pops up for one scene as an acquaintance at the wedding. Why is it Pink Flash? Why get somebody toku fans are going to recognize for an absolute nothing role? Why couldn't she have played the friend getting married? It's weird and distracting.

38 - Another welcome stab at being grounded, right down to bringing back Golgom's politician Sakata, who (believe it or not) was last seen in episode 8. I loved when the show used Kuromatsu, Sakata and Oomiya regularly, giving the show that realistic vibe of Golgom's influence. I always figured they would keep adding characters like them throughout the series, more and more officials who follow Golgom, but they instead sweep those three guys away pretty quickly. Oomiya only gets a photo cameo here! Still, it's nice to bring them back into the mix, and try to recall those early episodes.

Here Sakata creates an organization (the EP Party) for the sake of world peace and charity. It's all obvious bullshit, but people eat it up, anyway, and it quickly finds success. (Oomiya backs the organization in a press release via an assistant.) The key to winning over people in this episode is the opening of a care facility that has a machine that is said to speed up the body's healing ability to the point where it can quickly heal severe injuries and even cure disease. Really, the machine was stolen, and is an abandoned idea, the inventor finding out that the machine looks like it works, but it really ultimately ends up KILLING people rather than helping them. But that works for Golgom, they don't want the sickly in their new world. So, the promise of curing people, only to really be killing them, is damned awful. It's really surprising that this is a Baraom plot, because it's a nefarious one.

It's weird, though, that Baraom disguises himself as a human in this episode and he's not played by JAC suit actor Toshimichi Takahashi, as he should and usually would have been. It's not like Takahashi hasn't had a bunch of face roles, so it's weird that it's not him. (It's instead Kenjuu Hayashi, who played Megiddo in Dynaman.)

MOVIE 2 - This was the first time I've watched this movie. I didn't enjoy it as much as the first one, but it's OK. It's interesting that it ties into the series a little more than toku movies at the time tended to do; Shadow Moon's here, talking of his plans to build the Golgom empire, and choosing to do so in the city of Yubari. (So, we know what episode they were filming at the time of this movie -- 37.)

From there, the plot becomes real '70s Rider-y, in that it's about an escaped scientist and Koutarou coming to the rescue of the scientist and his family. ('70s Rider LOVED random scientists needing saved. And hikers. But especially: scientists' kids and hikers' siblings.) In a really bizarre and random turn of things, Golgom is having this scientist (played by Flashman's Tokimura, aka Shin's dad in Shin Kamen Rider) BUILD THEM A GIANT ROBOT! What the fuck?!? That's so un-Golgom like. They want a giant robot to guard this big old Golgom Mansion Shadow Moon plans to build, and it just doesn't fit...

And the robot's design makes it even worse. Is it something cool, like a big gargoyle or dragon or something? No, it looks like a giant Johnny Five from Short Circuit. Can you imagine Shadow Moon piloting this thing? I guess they WOULD be successful in defeating Black, because he'd die from laughter if he saw that thing coming his way. But there's a reason the robot looks the way it does...

The first movie had the Ishinomori cameo, this one has an extended cameo for the real life (then) mayor of the city of Yubari, Tetsuji Nakada. Nakada made a brief appearance in episode 37, spamming some of his city's virtues, but he's more involved here. As for that goofy robot, it's actually something real called the U-BAROT, which was an attraction unique to the city of Yubari and the Robotic Science Center of its History Village tourist spot. So, this whole movie is a travel brochure for Yubari, which is strange, but...they really wanted to be put on the map, dammit!

The best part of this movie, without question, is the fight scene between Black and Shadow Moon. The show's making you wait for it, but if you got your ass to the theater for Toei's Manga Matsuri, you got to have a little taste. Kids probably had bragging rights over those who didn't get to see the movie; be there or be square, man.

39 - I could never tell if this episode is meant to be taken completely seriously or if it's seriocomic. It seems like a goofy idea, especially for this show, but it's also presented to be a serious threat, so...

Whatever, I think it's a fun episode. It might not fit Black or even what my idea of Black is or should be, but it's fun. Call me crazy, but I think if you're an evil organization out to conquer mankind and ruin civilization, there's worse ways to go about it that manufacture a pop star who has subliminal signals in their videos. Jesus, look at the state of music now! People are buying into pop acts hook, line and sinker. A sinister Golgom plot being behind Adele and Taylor Swift is the only explanation I can think of for their popularity, how about you?

This episode COULD have been played completely straight. The villains backing a pop star who relies on a mysterious image -- she never attends events or performs live, adding to her mystique -- to add incentive for her subliminal-message-packed videos to create a frenzy in their demand...that could all be done seriously and cool and creepy, with some serious real life commentary! (The episode does try some commentary, I think, by insinuating that otaku types who lock themselves up and worship an idol are under that idol's evil influence, that it's beyond their control.) But the way it's presented, with Japan's love for mid-teen idols who can barely sing or dance and have such a manufactured, scripted persona, that all plays as just kind of goofy. (I hate Japan's teen idol scene.) Especially when someone like Koutarou loses his shit over her, and that's even BEFORE he's hit with the subliminal signal.

My favorite part of this episode is the way Kyoko and Battle Hopper step up when Koutarou's out of it. Kyoko's the first one to realize that the hit song Mogrog is Gorgom (Golgom) backwards, The Shining style. With the way Koutarou's so eager to blame everything on Golgom, you'd think he would have noticed that immediately. ("The weatherman said it was supposed to be 75 degrees today, not 74 -- this is Golgom's doing!" -- Koutarou's standard line of thinking. Poor paranoid bastard.)

Just when Koutarou's embarrassed himself enough, Battle Hopper is shown reacting back at Koutarou's garage/base, and dashes out after him. First, he stops to pick up Kyoko. Battle Hopper is awesome, and like this show's second Rider. I keep calling Battle Hopper "he," but...what's Battle Hopper's actual gender? Maybe Battle Hopper is female. Battle Hopper gets killed in the finale, which is the tradition of female Riders, so I guess Battle Hopper could be a lady.

The pop singer is Yuko Ooi, which is the name of the actress playing her, who was also a pop singer. So I guess she's playing "herself" in the same way that, say, Matt LeBlanc plays "himself" in Episodes. Googling her, it seems like she's a one-hit wonder, and a lot of the top results are about this Black episode. Still, gotta hand it to her for being an idol just starting out and playing a evil version of herself, a monster disguising itself as a pop star.

40 - A pretty unnecessary episode, especially this late in the game, but it's one that I like for guest star Masashi Ishibashi, in one of his rare good guy performances in a toku. There's barely a story in this one, it's just Koutarou chasing a monster into hiding within the mountains, where Koutarou comes across Ishibashi's kindly old hermit and his kid pupil.

The kid is under the impression that Ishibashi's character is a karate master, but Ishibashi's character is really just a fraud. He's not coming from a place of malice, he's really just an easily frightened guy, somebody who never stood out much and whose biggest failure in life was failing to save his grandson from a dire situation. The kid pupil believes in him, though, and gives the guy encouragement he needs. Koutarou's afraid these two are in danger, so he just hangs around until he's through with the monster and onto the next episode's adventure.

Ishibashi's character is just kind of pitiful, initially afraid that the obviously more capable Koutarou's come to unmask him as a fraud. Wouldn't you know the monster shows up and attacks the kid, and when the old man freezes in terror, the kid finally realizes he's dishonest and turns on him. Ishibashi's character finally finds courage to take on the monster so the kid can run to safety, putting his life on the line, and once again ends up as a hero in the kid's eyes. Ishibashi's just likable, and as a real-life karate-ka, he probably had a chuckle over playing a guy who was a fake and knew nothin'.

All in all, this is one of those kid-friendly, lesson-learnin' episodes. Hokey, but not offensive.

Kamen Rider Black episode 36 & The Problem with Nobuhiko

36 - Shadow Moon has declared himself leader of Golgom and revamps the Golgom trio into being super monsters. I've always hated what this show does to the Golgom trio. They went from being creepy and mysterious and cool and are given a new, awful look that makes them look like ordinary monsters of the week, and they're turned into mere lackeys of Shadow Moon's. They should have just given them a power-up, but, no, their title literally goes from "Great Priest" to "Great Kaijin." "Kaijin," as in just "monster," as in the plain description of the low-ranking monsters of the week of this show. Our regular villains have been turned toady. It sucks, especially since the designs are terrible. (Bishum looks like she's out of some bad Broadway play -- Bats -- or something.)

Once Darom transforms, they switch suit-actors. I really liked what Hirokazu Shouji did in the role; he's really short, but he carried himself in a certain way, conveying such a confidence and strength that he made Darom seem like a man of import, a man in charge. (Shozo Iizuka's voice-over is great, as well, it goes without saying.) Shouji did a lot through that mask, and the replacement as Great Kaijin Darom just doesn't bother.

This episode also kind of goes against what this show wanted to be in its earlier days. Remember the Golgom that was manipulating society from the shadows? The Golgom who had officials and world leaders in their pocket? The Golgom that was insidious, that was more realistic? Shwip. That's the sound of the show wiping its ass with all that. Shadow Moon's first decision is to take Golgom public, having the Golgom trio break into a government building and cause panic in a public part of the city. Remember when Golgom actually had politicians on their side? Now they're breaking into buildings and being like "We're Golgom, and we're taking over! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha. I'll be Governor Darom!" It's disappointing, and a time when you wonder what Shozo Uehara would have been doing at this point if he didn't leave the show.

I understand bringing in the big villain they've been talking about and trying to convey a sense of escalation for this final act of the series. The show wants to go big and not go home, but not only is it obvious that the budget's gradually shrinking, which hurts these chaotic and apocalyptic scenarios the show wants to convey, but it's done in a way that feels like a betrayal to the series' original agenda. Just a few tweaks to the writing, and it would work more, and you could overlook the show's trying to do something grand that's usually done in high-budget Hollywood blockbusters.

Shadow Moon's big thing since arriving is his plan to just demolish civilization and build Golgom's empire above ground. Golgom's been trying to systematically bring down society and take over, more methodically, but Shadow Moon's still kind of keeping with their overall agenda. X-Men: Apocalypse is newly released as of this writing, and what he's saying is not unlike Apocalypse's big "Everything they built will fall! From the ashes, we'll build a new world!" speech. This show, obviously, doesn't have a $200 million budget like that movie, so you just have to be patient and let your imagination do the walking, because a lot of where this show goes with its own doomsday scenarios is just done in a disappointing way. And again, that's not even taking into consideration the way that it feels like it goes against what the series was first setting out to do, and ends up turning the Golgom into more generic and average villains than they were. You knew there'd be escalation, that Golgom wanted to destroy and take over the world, but I always assumed it would be more subtle. They're like a supernatural SPECTRE, they have people everywhere, their tentacles are extended across the world. The '70s Riders wanted their villains to be like that, but Black obviously wanted to be more believable than those shows.

The scene where Golgom is attacking the city is meant to be big and chaotic, but they really don't want to put the money into it. The Bowzock attack in the first episode of Carranger is more frantic than anything Golgom does here. And there's some cool episodes coming up that are like this one, that are meant to feel big-scale and like huge events, but they're really cutting back on the show's budget at this point, and that hurts these ideas as much as the show's switching gears. On the bright side, Katsumi gets a moment to shine as she saves a kid from a falling sign, before begging Nobuhiko to end this attack.

The highlight of this episode is Kyoko and Katsumi returning to the Akizuki home and finding Shadow Moon there. He's just being a creep in a dark room, surrounded by smoke. He tells them of his plans for world domination and offers them protection, which it looks like Katsumi actually considers for a moment. The stillness and calm in which suit-actor Tokio Iwata moves as Shadow Moon is great, and Masaki Terasoma's voice-performance is suitably restrained. (That dude can really ham it up at times, so it's nice he's so reserved in this role.)

And it's here that I'd like to talk about Nobuhiko. When I first got into Kamen Rider Black, it was the late '90s/early '00s-ish. I obviously knew about Shadow Moon, and I obviously knew it was Nobuhiko. So, I was expecting Nobuhiko to be more involved with the show, and once Shadow Moon came in, we'd see an evil Nobuhiko who would pop in and out of the show and transform into Shadow Moon -- you know, the way the regular evil Riders in the Heisei shows do. So, I was initially surprised and disappointed that there's way more Shadow Moon than there ever is Nobuhiko, and that Shadow Moon never really "transforms" back into Nobuhiko...

Now, I've come to accept that maybe it's the show wanting to convey just how little there is of Nobuhiko left, that he's so far gone, so transformed that there's only Shadow Moon. He'll take on a Nobuhiko form briefly, if it suits an agenda, but, really, Nobuhiko is gone.

Maybe it's for the best since Nobuhiko's actor, Takahito Horiuchi, doesn't seem like the greatest actor, and probably couldn't have pulled off a villainous Nobuhiko. That's another thing -- the show needed to show us a bit more Nobuhiko prior to the transformation. We hardly ever even get dialogue about what he was like. Are we to just assume that he was as seemingly decent as Koutarou? Again, I kind of blame Horiuchi, who in his brief appearances always seems like a smug bastard with a chip on his shoulder. We definitely needed someone better as Nobuhiko, someone at least likable. I'm not saying he should have played Nobuhiko, I'm just using this as an example, but think of a performer like Hiroshi Miyauchi; Miyauchi is such a personality, you know him so well, he can convey a lot with a little. If you weren't going to deal with Nobuhiko a lot, you needed someone like that in those flashback snippets.

Which brings me to this next point: I remember someone at Japan Hero saying that they heard the reason for Nobuhiko's lack of screen presence is because Horiuchi was difficult, and that he resented not being the lead, so the production used him as little as they could. I have no idea how true that is -- there's really no info about Horiuchi out there -- but it's hard to watch the show and not wonder if that was the case. Because just even in episodes 34 and 36, he's used in just one scene, without much of any dialogue. Like "Get him in, get him out, we hate working with him."

That would be sad if it was true, because...who does Horiuchi think he is? He's not good. Who is he, even? He doesn't seem to have many credits beyond Black. The Japanese Wikipedia claims he was a popular pop singer, but I can't even find info out about that -- they list a couple of singles and an album, how popular could he be based on such a little output? Why wouldn't they just recast him IF he was hard to work with?

I don't know if I believe the story of him being hard to work with, but I still think he's a weak actor, and a casting mistake. I also think the show going through so many writers contributes to the Nobuhiko side of the story seeming messy. At this point of the show, it's clear that Sugimura's taken over, and doesn't care about dispensing with what Uehara and the show originally set out to do.

This episode also has Shadow Moon speaking to Koutarou through the King Stone, telling him that they're destined to fight, beginning a new story-line for the show to drag out -- it's about ten or so episodes before Black and Shadow Moon have that fight. Having build-up and creating anticipation for what's supposed to be an important part of the series is good, but with the way Black's been going, you know there's going to be a couple less-than-stellar episodes in between that you'll have to fight through, with some anime-ish repetition of dialogue to be beaten over the head with, too.

Black Shadow: Kamen Rider Black episodes 31 - 35

31 - Episode starts with some bad-ass motocross action, with a buncha explosions, fuck yeah! What danger is Koutarou getting into now? Ha, fooled you! The motorist takes off their helmet and it's a kid! This episode marks the return of the Shonen Golgom Tai from episode 24, but only two of the four actors from that episode returned. That kind of weakens the episode, but it's such a strange concept, and these kids are really dedicated to their roles, that I dig these stunted soldiers, so it's fun to see them back. (Where'd their custom grey jackets with Black's question mark squiggle go?) In a fact that only interests me, one of the new kids playing a Shonen Senshi is Yuuji Satou, who was the first Warajii in Changeman -- he only played Warajii once, in his first appearance, episode 27. I also recognize Satou as the kid who wanted Takeru to teach him the Godhand in that awesome episode of Maskman.

In this episode, we learn that INET's Kubota must have been a Golgom member, because he TOTALLY rips off of Golgom's plan in this episode to recruit young soldiers through video games for his Megaranger project. That's right, Golgom wants to replenish their Shonen Golgom Tai stock by recruiting kids who show skill at the video game Athletic World (I have that game!) and kidnapping them...by sucking them into the video game. There's some moments that I see as kind of meta moments, like the fact that the game/computer screen gives off an obnoxious strobe flash before it sucks someone into the game, Black understandably shielding his eyes like Mega Red's jamming his Drill Saber in 'em. (Feel how the audience has felt for 30 episodes of DX Terebi Power toys, Minami Koutarou!)

There's a funny bit when a kid playing a video game gets a glimpse of a digitized, 8-bit looking Black fighting the episode's monster, Double Dragon style, when Black's in the computer world. It would have been funnier if the show had used a snippet of the actual game of Kamen Rider Black they had for the Famicom disc system, though. How awesome would that have been? (The game snippet they show here has better graphics than the real game.)

There's also a bit when Koutarou is being told by the one tech-savvy Shonen Senshi that there's a chance that, if they go into the computer world, they might not return. The other Shonen Senshi freak out at this idea, and Koutarou's on board immediately. This might sound horrible, but...I think Koutarou should have weighed the situation more. There looked to be only two captives in the computer world, and Koutarou was risking his freedom to go in and save them when...what would he have done if he got stuck there? What would the world have done? We have only him to fight Golgom, man. He wagered A LOT on two captives.

Episode could have spent a little more on the "video game" set, though. It's just all a bunch of cubes and squares, like Golgom sent 'em to Q*Bert. I used to poke fun at this episode, using it as a marker of how far Black got from its more serious early episodes, but I've come around to enjoying it more -- it's entertaining.

32 - I honestly didn't even remember this episode. And that's because it sucks. I think this episode originated as writer Ryu Yamaguchi being like "Hey, guys, I have this real creepy image of Bishum as a nun!" And the producers were like "Ew, cool! What's the episode about?" And Yamaguchi replied, "Dunno! But I just scored some killer magic 'shrooms from my dealer, so that should get the old idea engine runnin'!" Sorry to say, Yamaguchi, you got some of the bad shit...

Because the episode is literally a giant mushroom who sprays yellow smoke over people and gets them to hallucinate and have nightmares and shit -- see how little Yamaguchi traveled for his inspiration? Really, this episode wants to be one of those classic Space Sheriff, trippy, what-the-fuck's going on, the hero is trapped in Makuu/Mado/Fushigi Space and it's 22 minutes of just wacky and bizarre shit. But Black just doesn't commit to it the way the Space Sheriffs did. Either that, or Space Sheriff writer Shozo Uehara had a better mushroom supply to fuel the freaky images those episodes could produce.

This is the kind of crap, weak, stupid episode that gives formulaic toku a bad name. Formula isn't the problem, people, it's bad ideas like this episode is crammed with. Also, it's episodes like these that give Tetsuo Kurata a bad reputation. I've read a lot of people knock him for being hammy, but the problem is that he's giving 110% to shit episodes like this, episodes that don't really have anything going for them, and episodes that seem kind of stupid to get so intense and passionate over, so Kurata's efforts aren't appreciated.

Ryu Yamaguchi, by the way, wrote episode 24, the one with Katsumi and the college girls being kidnapped by Godai's whiny teacher, the one that...had nightmare imagery, and had the Freddy Krueger-esque effect of Katsumi rolling around on the ceiling. Yamaguchi repeats that here! This is only his second Black script, and he's repeating himself! Not surprisingly, this is his last Black script, too. This episode might be worse than the one with the gold-shitting bug, because I recommend just skipping it. Gold-shitting bug at least had a cool fight in it.

(My lawyer insists that I must point out that I'm being humorous, and that neither Ryu Yamaguchi nor Shozo Uehara are known drug users.)

33 - Boring. The Golgom plot this week is to mess with a river's flow and contaminate a water supply with toxic waste -- it's a generic villain plot, whatever, but I can picture this idea working better in an episode from earlier in this series, centered on an older character, being grounded and real world. Because here, it's weakened by being wrapped in a generic and random story of a wheelchair-bound boy who witnesses Golgom's monster, and how his dad never believes him. Snooze.

34 - After a string of below average and weak episodes, we finally get to something meaty! This begins a three-parter that sadly has bigger ambitions than the budget allows.

I remember when I first saw this episode, being shocked at the first scene, with the out of it and dirty Nobuhiko stumbling through the city streets, making his way to a police station. Holy crap, what's going on?! I wasn't expecting this! This is the first time in a while we've seen Nobuhiko. (And he looks like he's been eating some of those Kamen Rider Black snacks -- dude's puffed up a bit.) He's sent to the hospital and the news puts out info about this Jiro Doe, which Kyoko happens to catch and dashes out of the shop to make her way to the hospital. She gets to Nobuhiko's room and...Nobuhiko is just Baraom in disguise. What a goddamn motherfucking rip-off. This show's dicked around enough and has no right to be dicking around on fool you moments like this.

That leads to Baraom kidnapping Kyoko and trying to recreate their plan from SEVENTEEN EPISODES AGO to use Kyoko to feed the cocooned Nobuhiko her life force. That Baraom, he's a quick one. At this point, it's kind of like...what the hell's been the hold-up with Shadow Moon, anyway? Koutarou escaped half-baked and Black turned out just fine. They're overcooking Nobuhiko! Why's he just been covered in Saran Wrap and shoved in a hamster ball for 34 goddamn episodes?!? What have the three Golgom Priests been doing?!?! How long does it take to bake a Shadow Moon?!?!?

Despite the length of time it's taken, the Golgom trio are pretty confident that it will work this time. Birugenia doesn't like that, and it lights a fire under his ass to throw his hat in the ring and run for the title of Creation King's successor as an Independent nominee. The current Creation King shows him a hellish path which he walks, and ends up with the Creation King's sword. This is his entire platform -- that he found the sword belonging to the Creation King, and that's why Golgomites should vote for him -- he gets shit done! As sudden as it is, I like this turn for Birugenia; he had a tossed off line around when he debuted, about how he could have been the contender for Century King -- even being born under the prophesied eclipse -- but he was born too early. (A Creation King holds office for about 50,000 years. It's only at this point in the show that the current Creation King is nearing the end of office.)

Birugenia, drunk on his awesomeness, frees Kyoko and takes her hostage to lure out Koutarou. The Three Golgom Musketeers are pissed that they lost Kyoko, and are told by the Creation King that they can use the energy of their elemental stones and transfer that to Nobuhiko. Like Black has the sun stone and Shadow Moon the moon stone, the Golgom priests have stones of earth, sea and sky, and begin transferring their energies to Nobuhiko.

Meanwhile, Birugenia shows that he's apparently been watching '70s tokus in his spare time, because he decides to hang Kyoko on a cross at the rocky quarry. Koutarou don't like that one bit, and a fight ensues. Koutarou takes quite a beating, and even nearly sacrifices Road Sector and Battle Hopper to get to Kyoko and free her. Birugenia corners them on a cliff and they fall, the show's first real cliffhanger.

I like this episode, despite my complaining, I just always find it irritating that it drags things out and has those little teasing cop-outs when the show's danced around this enough, but what makes it twice as bad is coming off a string of such subpar episodes.

35 - Picking up where the last one left off, Black and Kyoko have landed at the bottom of the mountain, but onto some rocks, and not into the sea. Black's taking a well earned nap and reverts to Koutarou, which Kyoko witnesses for the first time. She helps keep him hidden from Birugenia, and they make their way into a cave where there's a scene I like, when Koutarou lays out the possibility that he'll have to fight Nobuhiko, which Kyoko doesn't react well to. Koutarou's always tried to shine an optimistic light on the Nobuhiko situation, especially with Kyoko and Katsumi. But you always knew there's not a happy ending there -- Nobuhiko's been in Golgom's hands too long -- so for him to admit here, to Kyoko, that he might have no choice but fight him, is big.

While Koutarou tries to heal, Birugenia causes random destruction by possessing a group of biker punks. This is mainly notable because the head punk is Jiro Okamoto, making his third face appearance in this series. (The first time was as a guy being possessed by Birugenia in Birugenia's first episode! Fitting that he's back for Birugenia's last.) This eventually leads to Koutarou and Birugenia having a cool fight, made cooler by the way it turns dark once Shadow Moon revives.

That's right, the Golgom trio put all of their energy into reviving Shadow Moon, and it finally, finally works. Good for them, because they didn't want Birugenia to win the election, but bad for them, because it left them all shriveled and dying and they now look like Godneros' nutsack. (There's a nicely gross bit with tides of sand coming out from Darom's mouth and face.)

They do a good job of debuting Shadow Moon; not only does his revival cause earthquakes, but the sky turns black, and his ominous form is shown just standing in the Golgom lair; he steals the sword right from Birugenia's hand while he's in the middle of fighting Black, causing Black to gain the upper hand in the fight. When Birugenia returns to the lair, I love his look of joy at seeing the pitiful sight of the shriveled Golgom trio; but his joy is short lived, because he quickly spots Shadow Moon out the corner of his eye.

Shadow Moon just stands there, huge, threatening, mysterious. Birugenia doesn't back down, and demands the return of his sword once he spots it in Shadow Moon's hand. Shadow Moon just lightly chuckles. "It was made for me. Take it back, if you think you can." These are his first words and he's already a son of a bitch! Birugenia attacks and Shadow Moon cuts him down with no effort. Remember, Birugenia's no slouch, so this is a great intro to the villain they've made us wait so long to see. Birugenia dies, which is a loss to the show; he was awesome, and it would have been interesting to see him interact with Shadow Moon for at least a couple of episodes. But, still, that would lessen the impact of Shadow Moon's instantly slaughtering him.

I think the episode should have ended there; I think it's a mistake to shoehorn in Shadow Moon revealing himself to Koutarou in an underwhelming way. Koutarou's just driving, and Shadow Moon materializes in the middle of the road to just toss off some generic bad guy boasting. They needed to save their meeting and make it much more momentous. The only good thing here is that Koutarou uses his noggin. I could picture some other show having Koutarou get off his bike and be like "Who are you!?!" "Mwa-ha-ha. I am Shadow Moon." "Shadow Moon!?!? Nobuhiko?! You're Nobuhiko?!?!" That would be all stupid and overly melodramatic, but Koutarou's calm, and recognizes who it is off the bat, just calmly addressing him as Nobuhiko. That's the only upside in this rushed final scene.

Black Knight: Kamen Rider Black episodes 26 - 30

26 - This episode has a mixed message; a dad's pushing his daughter to be stronger, to keep up with the boys in this ever changing world, and she wants to be strong, but she's, like, just no good at them sports the way boys are, because girls can't play sports! So, she's ripe pickin' for Golgom, who sends Dyna Blue to possess her and give her super-strength to the point where she's pwning boys at every sport, and also Koutarou. Then, when she's freed, her dad's all bawling like "I'm sorry for pushing you to do the impossible!" Bah.

Despite that, I like this episode, and that's because of guest star Hiromi Yuhara as the girl. When I first saw this episode, I was like "What, is she some kind of JAC kid or something?!" Because she's awesome, she cuts loose, man -- she's throwing stuff around, taking crazy falls, beating the crap out of Koutarou and Black. Yuhara's actually a pretty good actress for her age -- check out how well she pulls off playing bad here, but also the normal girl trying to fight through the Golgom monster's possession. Yuhara's popped up in A LOT of toku stuff in the '80s and '90s (my favorite role of hers is Rin in Turboranger). She's often the target of villains, and she's a really sympathetic performer, with a sorrowful look to her. I would have liked to see her mature and become a Sentai heroine or something, but her last appearance was as Malteua's human form in Ohranger. She was good in that, but needed a better send-off. (Yuhara actually was also in the first Black movie, as one of the kidnapped kids.)

27 - I like this episode, but it's a bit of a knock-off of that one Ultraseven episode. I mean, toku is filled with episodes where the hero is cheering up a hospitalized kid, but this one -- like Ultraseven -- is about the hero racing the clock to restore power to the hospital because a kid's undergoing emergency surgery. The monster drains energy, so Koutarou's held up from transforming and takes quite a beating, the way Dan did in that Ultraseven, too. Well, I guess if you're going to rip off of something, rip off of something good.

Unintentional moment of laughter -- Koutarou is pinned down by the monster, who's trying to rip the King Stone from his body, and Koutarou escapes this by poking the monster in the eyes with his first two fingers like Moe Howard.

28 - Fan favorite writer Naruhisa Arakawa makes his tokusatsu debut with this episode! It's the first and last episode of Black he writes, because it's terrible. I really like Arakawa, he's one of my favorite toku writers, he's written some great, classic stuff, but he can turn around and write some absolute junk. This episode is junk.

It's not a terrible idea to have the villains try to get the hero to lose faith in people and fall into despair, but this possibly the stupidest way you could have gone about the idea. And it's not only just a stupid episode, but it's another episode that makes the characters look dumb. Birugenia, who's been great all of his time in the show, especially in the way he shows up JUST to mock the Golgom trio's plans of the week, is finally shown giving a plan of his own, and...it's dumber than anything he mocked the trio for. So, it sorta makes him look bad. He has the latest monster unleash golden insects all over Japan, which basically shit gold, and it becomes all of the rage in Japan, a Pokemon for adults, and this is supposed to make society collapse into greed and laziness.

The Golgom trio eat this shitty plan up, but Birugenia's real goal is to get people to turn on Koutarou and have him lose faith. (Which redeems him from looking completely stupid for hatching this plan, at least.) Once his new kid friend of the week's family is being torn apart by this gold-shitting bug shit, Koutarou begins a quest to tour Japan and break into people's houses and destroy their gold-shitting bug collections. Kind of an asshole move, and all kinds of illegal, but nobody calls the cops on him -- they just throw him out or throw a bucket of water on him to chase him off. About this: people are said to have been quitting their jobs and cashing in their savings to buy these bugs with plans to breed them and make more, which means more gold shit. So, when Black ultimately foils this plan, that leaves a lot of penniless and presumably homeless people throughout Japan, including Koutarou's latest kid buddy he's trying to "help."

Anyway, Koutarou plays along like he's lost faith in humanity and lures out Birugenia and gives us this episode's only saving grace, which is a cool fight scene.

The previous episode was a knock-off, and this one sort of is, too. It reminds me of that Flashman episode where Kaura -- the outsider villain -- heads up his own plan of unleashing gold-shitting bugs on Japan. That episode's real plan ends up being that the bugs will explode or something, but it's the same thing with appealing to people's greed. Also: that Flashman episode is known for showcasing the villain actors without make-up, as they go undercover to peddle the insects. This episode has Birugenia's actor sans make-up, posing as a guy who is using a story of his own good fortune with these gold-shitting bugs to make people want them.

Yeah, screw this episode. Sad thing is, I'm planning on rewatching RX, but that entire series feels like the gold-shitting bug episode -- without the cool fight.

29 - A good episode with a lot of crazy action for everyone. Of course, it's awesome that Change Mermaid is a guest-star -- she's one of four astronauts who Golgom kidnap and replace with copies so they can actually crash the space shuttle and screw with mankind's desire to explore space. (It's mentioned that Hiroko Nishimoto's character would be the first female Japanese astronaut in space. Nishimoto's been to space a couple times already, pal.)

Katsumi gets some of the spotlight since she's friends with Nishimoto's character, Himeya. There's a pretty cool and tense scene later on when Katsumi and Kyoko are trapped in a small hospital room, fending off an attack from the Himeya clone. (Kyoko gets a few hits in; so they're not just hiding in a closet and yelling for Koutarou. Koutarou doesn't end up saving them directly, either.)

Katsumi is actually captured by Golgom and taken to their lair, where Darom nearly shits himself when he recognizes her as Shadow Moon's girlfriend. He plans to use this to their advantage, but Birugenia, like a true renegade Sixth Villain, lets her go to further his own plan -- which is to lure Katsumi into a false sense of security with Himeya and help free her and the other astronauts, who actually turn out to be the clones. There's yet another cool fight between Koutarou/Black and Birugenia, and once again Koutarou sucker punches Birugenia with Road Sector (he warns him to take a look behind him this time, it's hilarious).

The episode ends with Katsumi saying she felt like she was near Nobuhiko when she was captured, which is our Nobuhiko update... We know now that Shadow Moon's coming up shortly, so she shouldn't be so happy about that.

30 - A disappointingly scattered episode. There's not even much of a plot to it; Baraom manipulates a Hawaiian -- who is said to belong to an island clan and has a supernatural power to repel grasshoppers -- into traveling to Japan and killing Koutarou. Masaki Kyomoto is wasted, his return as Taki pointless, as he tries to lend a hand, but mostly gets his ass kicked and must just run away with the Hawaiian and guard her until Black gets there to do the real savin'. Really, it's like the producers realized they could use Kyomoto one more time and just shoved him into an already existing script; you can picture the episode without Taki and it plays just the same.

Not much to this episode except luring Koutarou into a trap and attacking him. The episode takes a strange turn when Birugenia steps in to block the monster's attack -- which was working pretty well -- and essentially saves Koutarou by attacking him with his Dark Storm move, throwing him across town, all as a way of preventing Baraom from killing Koutarou, leaving that job for himself. That's not the weird part, though, the weird part is that Koutarou lands in a park and randomly has amnesia. Some kids kick a soccer ball in his direction and he returns it, smashing apart a bench it hits, because he doesn't remember he's a cyborg. Koutarou ends up regaining his memory because he sees the soccer ball and it reminds him of Taki. Yeah, right. GTFO.

Birugenia then shows up and the episode is so unremarkable that it fails to give us even an entertaining fight! It's a really clumsy, awkward, cheap fight in this park where the same bench keeps getting destroyed (by either Birugenia's sword or Koutarou's fat-ass as he falls onto it) with Birugenia hacking down a lot of trees in missed attempts at hitting Koutarou. I don't know why, but from here out, this show LOVES to have characters fall and break benches.

Episode's just weak. And it ends with a narration that's like "But Koutarou's fate is about to change...!" and they cut to the cocooned Nobuhiko, still looking like the Hopper Man Koutarou first transformed into in episode one. The episode then ends with the old TSUZUKU, and I'm guessing a ton of people were pissed off once they waited through the commercials, sat through the ending credits, and saw that the next episode's preview contained jackshit about Nobuhiko or his transformation. In fact, it had to be a HUGE middle finger that it was a preview for an episode about Koutarou going into a video game to save kids. (It ends up being a fun episode, but, c'mon...a huge letdown when you're teasing that the Shadow Moon stuff was going to get rolling.)